Guest Writer #91: “Summer Love: To Fling or Not to Fling?”

After a long, bitter, brutal winter, spring forced its way into play, and once we finally got used to spring, along came summer. The layers of clothing we hid under all winter came off. The sun began to shine on our skin, and on especially hot days, the heat would make it prickle. As much as I hate extreme weather, be it hot or cold, summer is a sensual time for me. Most days, you can catch me holed up in an air conditioned room, but if I have to be out, I enjoy wearing my pretty little summer dresses, feeling the breeze kiss my skin and flirt with my skirts. I also enjoy man-watching.

In the summer months, I really don’t mind being single because my eyes are EVERYWHERE. I can find something in almost any man that turns me on, which made me wonder about flings. I went to my facebook friends and started a conversation about summer flings to see what they thought of them.

A fling is defined as a casual dating or “doing” relationship where you know that it isn’t going anywhere, but you enjoy the short time you have together. I found that the ideas about flings were split amongst the people who participated in the discussion. On the one hand, flings are fun and teach us a lot about ourselves. Life isn’t to be taken so seriously all the time, and dating different types of people can serve to show us what we like and what we DON’T like, so when it’s time to settle down into a serious relationship, we know what we’re looking for in a long-term mate.

On the other side of the conversation, some of us just aren’t meant for flings. Personally, I may enter a fling with no expectations, but once we’ve been involved for a certain period of time, I’ve likely developed an attachment to this guy, especially if the relationship becomes physical at all. When a fling goes on for too long, one or both parties can end up getting hurt. Some people just aren’t made for casual relationships.

As a general consensus, the key to a fling is knowing yourself. If you already know that you’re a bit of an open wound or that you’re looking for love and just taking what you can get for the time being, a fling is NOT for you. Any relationship you enter will end in an emotional attachment for you and is not likely to end in commitment, especially if the rules of the relationship were clearly stated in the beginning. For the footloose and fancy free types, flings are great. They just need to be sure that they are with a partner with the same intentions as they. I’ve had a little summer love in the past, but usually, either he ended up hurt or I did-and it was usually ME.

I really like the fellas…especially at summertime. When the temperature rises, so does mine, and I long to lean in close to some gorgeous stranger…or NOT so stranger…breathe heavy on his neck…touch him inappropriately…but I have to remember that come fall, I’ll want a love of my own again. I have to remember that ultimately, I want a love of my own PERIOD, and that I might fall in forever love with a summer man, and that’s no good at all-for ME. My wide-brim hat’s off to you who can do the casual thing. Men, if you see me staring at you devilishly from across the room, fanning myself with a napkin and chewing curiously on a straw, do me a favor and “accidentally” brush up against me on your way out of the room. That should get me by until September.

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