Guest Writer #46: “Cock-Blocker”

So, where did we last leave off? Ahhh, yes…the one I’d give up so much for asked me in a roundabout way if I was going somewhere that HE was going. He didn’t have the nerve to invite me, but he showed disappointment when I said I hadn’t planned to be there. I told him I could make it happen if he wanted. He goes, “You’re probably sick of the spot…” I told him I’d be there. Maybe I should have let him sweat…but I wanted to see him.

I beat him there. My first mistake was choosing to sit in one of two Mom and Pop chairs. I knew he’d be coming with his best friend, so I probably should have sat at a table to accommodate us all, but since I was there specifically for him, I was going to make myself as comfortable as possible, and he could feel free to make an effort to spend time with me if he saw fit. It’s the least he could do since I decoded his message and showed up somewhere I hadn’t planned to be.

In he walks with his best friend. He looks at me and smiles instantly. I play it cool, continue to remove my coat and set up my space. He comes to me, we greet, we hug…it’s a good hug… Then his best friend, a mutual friend of ours, comes and hugs me as well…then sits next to ME. I’m DUMBFOUNDED. 1.) You came with your best friend and ditched him to sit next to me 2.) It’s not for the comfort of the chairs because there are more chairs like this in the room 3.) You’re MARRIED. Why choose me over your bestie? Especially since you see me more often than you see him ANYWAY?

My undate for the night is as shocked as I am. “This where you sitting?” This where I’m sitting. “So I’ma have to sit up front by myself?” (shrug). “Aiight den.” I was glad that he was as annoyed as I was with the situation, but he didn’t fight hard enough to sit next to me-plus he made it more about THEM not sitting together, not us. I’d have even been cool with him asking us ALL to move to a table. But fine. My undate for the night sits a row behind us and texts me throughout the night. I could have done that at home for free and without riding out into the cold.

As I sit there most of the night with his bestie making stupid wisecracks and generally being in the way of what I came for, I had time to think. Every time I show up somewhere for my undate, Bestie sits next to me the majority of the night while my undate works the room. As a matter of fact, anytime Bestie and I are in the same room, he sits RIGHT on my hip. I put two and two together, got four, and wondered, “Why is he COCK-BLOCKING me???” As angry as that revelation made me, I was more upset that my undate always allowed it to happen. I wondered if Bestie ever even KNEW I was there to be with my undate?

I had to tell myself this weekend that any man who wants you will pursue you in some kind of way. This guy and I are friends, and I’m sure he knows that I haven’t lost the feelings for him I had this summer and told him about. Why can’t he come out and ASK me to come out? Is he that shy or is he afraid to give me the wrong idea? I don’t have the stomach for this type of behavior anymore, and I’ll be glad when I no longer have the stomach for HIM.

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