Guest Writer #45: “Planning a Move? Cut back on Dating” by Leon Harris

Here is our latest blog by our guest writer Leon Harris. Gigi is loving his blogs, and it is wonderful to have a male opinion among all the women on this blog 🙂

Whether you’ve decided to move because you want to be closer to family, you got a new job, or you simply want a change of scenery, you could make the process a lot harder on yourself if you start dating someone before you go. While you may not think that casual dating could really lead to anything serious before you hit the road, even one date with the right person could create an entanglement that will put a definite kink in you plans (or completely derail them). You might scoff, but cupid’s arrow could strike your heart at any moment, and you may not be so keen to turn down a chance at love when it’s staring you in the face, regardless of your best-laid plans. Here are just a few reasons to avoid the potential to be struck by love.

The first and most likely outcome is that you will go ahead with your move. Since any new relationship is going to be fraught with uncertainty (regardless of flying sparks), you’re not very likely to upend your life for it. Possibilities are one thing, but if you’ve already paid for a plane ticket and movers, you’re probably going to stick to the tangibles. You may choose to make a clean break when you go, which is probably the smart choice, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be getting on that airplane with your heart intact or without doubts. Sometimes it’s the potential relationships we walked away from that end up haunting us for the rest of our lives. Why risk it?

Of course, you could also try to do the long-distance thing, even though everyone tells you it’s a huge mistake. Well, you could be the exception, right? Unfortunately, the beginning of a relationship is the worst time to be apart. For one thing, you need the constant reinforcement of physical contact to remind you why you’re with this other person. Without a history and love to fall back on, you may start to wonder why you’re not with someone who is present. In addition, you haven’t really established trust if you’ve only been together a short time. This could lead to uncertainty about the intentions of the other person as well as jealousy (whether deserved or not). In short, it is extremely unlikely that this type of relationship will work out. Likely you’re just prolonging the inevitable (a breakup).

Finally, you could decide to ditch your plans and stay. The odds of success in this relationship are a toss-up. Your commitment to the other person (so much so that you are willing to completely change the course of your life) could either cause them to fall completely in love with you, or go the opposite direction and retreat from what they perceive as an intense and unnatural devotion. You could end up in a long-term, committed relationship with the love of your life. Or you might soon be cursing the day you met this person who ruined all your plans.

The potential for problems with any of these scenarios runs high. Although you don’t want to turn down a chance for love (since they tend to be few and far between), you need to be smart about the trajectory you’re on. If a move is in your best interest (which apparently it is since your plans are already in place), then simply avoid the whole situation by swearing off dating until you leave. There will be opportunities for future love in a new town, guaranteed.

Leon Harris writes for AdvanceMe, the nation’s leading business cash advance provider.

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