This is the sixth blog sent in by our new guest writer Leon Harris, and they keep on coming. Gigi is hoping his blogs will be as constant as Dimonique Boyd’s. Our other blog guest writers have come and gone, and Gigi prefers it when they come and stay. It definitely makes it easier for her!! So sit back and read the latest blog from our only male writer. Gigi loves his point of view and the insight he is giving her into the male mind…
At one point or another, you may have had the sneaking suspicion that your partner was engaged in cheating behavior. Whether you’re married, living together, or just dating, you’ve likely had moments of weakness in which you viewed the words and actions of your significant other as suspicious and less than forthcoming. But likely you just chalked it up to misunderstandings, unwarranted jealousy, or even transference of your own feelings (if you were tempted to cheat, or even followed through). However, if you’re beginning to suspect that something is amiss and you can’t seem to shake the notion, perhaps you should look for some of the telltale signs. Here are just a few red flags that may merit a trip to your local P.I. or a point blank accusation.
1. Increased interest in their looks. Let’s face it: when most of us settle into a nice, comfortable, long-term relationship, we tend to let our looks go a bit. When you’re in love, it just doesn’t seem as important to attract the notice of other potential suitors. The implementation of a diet and exercise regimen (with gusto), a renewed interest in grooming and dressing habits, and unaccustomed mirror-gazing may all signal that your mate is on the prowl (and not to catch you).
2. Frequent overtime. Changes in work habits could most certainly be due to work. But if your partner begins to work a lot of overtime, yet doesn’t seem keen to give you the details, begins taking regular business trips (when traveling wasn’t previously required), discourages you from calling or stopping by, and is never available when you call, then you are perhaps within your rights to get suspicious, especially if the situation is ongoing.
3. Lack of interest in yours truly. One of the most distressing side effects of a cheating partner is their lack of interest in you. Not only will your sex life probably dry up (they’ll be “tired” or come up with excuses not to get romantic), you may also notice that your mate avoids affectionate interactions (especially in public) and even goes so far as to criticize you for attempting to fan the flames a bit. Alternately, you may notice distinct changes in bedroom behavior such as a newfound desire to get a bit kinky or try new moves that you were never aware they knew.
4. Picking fights. Unfortunately, a cheater may try to deflect his/her feelings of guilt by picking fights so that they can feel justified in their hurtful and unfair actions (not only cheating, but lying as well). If you begin to notice not only that you’re fighting a lot more, but that the fights tend to break out when you request to know your partner’s whereabouts or pin down details about their absences, alarm bells should start ringing.
5. Phone/internet etiquette. This is a biggie. Communication between a cheating partner and their lover(s) is often abundant and probably happens right under your nose. If you notice that your partner is getting a lot more hang-ups and wrong numbers, that they seem to be texting a lot more, or that they are spending a lot of time on the internet after you’ve gone to bed (or closes their chat window as soon as you enter the room), you may want to take a peek at their phone or email.
Of course, you should consider talking to your partner first (since they may be pretty upset to find you snooping if they’ve done nothing wrong). But when it comes right down to it, you’ve got to weigh the facts and go with your gut. If you find that nothing is amiss, then you’ll know that there are possibly some personal problems you need to work on. Either way, it’s better to know what’s going on rather than making yourself miserable wondering if your partner is cheating.