Nightmare Date #37: It wasn’t a REAL crime I went to prison for!!

It is a total wonder that Gigi still finds the energy or hope to continue dating online, with all the nightmare dates she has been on, or has narrowly and luckily escaped. When she begins to talk to a new man, and he asks her how her online dating experience has been, Gigi has to try very hard not to snort out loud or succumb to a Gigi version of Turrets. What does drive her to the point of screaming is when the man tells her that she sounds simply wonderful, and then dares to ask the most exasperating question of all: Why is a woman like you still single? Arghhhhh and blegh!!! Really? Seriously? Read on, and you will see just why Gigi is single!!

After the Norwegian disaster in her life, Gigi decided on no more long distance relationships. She ignored the friendly advice of happily married people on face book telling her to just stop looking and that Mr. Wonderful would magically appear when the time was right. Nope. That hasn’t worked so well in the past 4 years, so Gigi is not about to start that now. So back to the dating sites, that I am truly beginning to think are one of Dante’s circles from hell. Even television shows are agreeing with Gigi. One of the doctors on Grey’s Anatomy has joined a dating site and was being rather Gigi-ish, saying that
“Dating is evil… You should be saying thank God I don’t have to go on another first date again.” She also told Dr. McDreamy that as a happily married man, he gets no say in the conversation, and Gigi agrees!! Those of you who have not had to date in the last 10 years have NO idea what it is like out here!!

In the past few weeks, Gigi has talked to quite a few men, and gone on countless dates that have gone nowhere. But at least they were not total nightmare dates, and the one that could have been the worst of all was avoided because of the man’s honesty. Gigi has to admit that even though it would have been a nightmare, at least the man was honest enough about his… faults, and Gigi was able to avoid meeting him in person.

His fault? Oh not that much, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. Just a slight prison problem. Yup. You read correctly. Gigi was asked out by a man who just recently got out of a 2.5 year stretch in a prison. And yup. He has her phone number. Plenty of fish… do you really NOT care WHO joins your website?

William seemed ever so nice. Good looking. Black. Gigi’s age. No kids or ex’s to bring drama into his life. Nice and attentive, sending lots of emails, and then texts and even calling lots, saying all the usual wonderful stuff about wanting to meet the woman to grow old with… blah di blah di blah and yawn.

Gigi took it all in with a bushel of salt (she gave up the grain of salt eons of online dates ago). She would take him at his word, and then see if it all came true or crashing down. But even Gigi didn’t expect this. She had several dates lined up for the week, thinking she’d meet them all, get it out of the way and maybe find one possibility out of the five or so.

It got to the point where she almost forgot what this one did for a living, so when he asked if her could meet her for dinner, she innocently asked him what he did for a living. He told her that he was in school, studying cooling and heating. Ughhhh. Gigi is so tired of meeting men who are back in school when in their 40’s and beginning again. These men always end up being the ones who soon say they have no time, no money, and no energy to date Gigi. God, does she really ask too much in wanting to see them twice a week, and get amazing sex? Are men in their 40’s the new 80’s? Does she really have to start dating men in their 20’s again?

When Gigi asked William what made him change careers in his 40’s he asked her the question then:

“Oh, didn’t I tell you about my past?”

“What past?” asked Gigi, still with no clue at what was coming.

“My prison record.”

Gigi choked on the french fry she was eating (her last date only got her a coffee and nothing to eat, so she picked up some fast food on the way home), and when she was able to talk again, she told him that no, he had NOT told her he was in prison. That she would DEFINITELY have remembered that little bitty titbit!!

He went on to tell her that his crime wasn’t serious.

“It’s not like I murdered anyone.”

Gigi was almost scared to ask him what he did do that sent him to prison, when he told her he ran an auto chop shop in Detroit, and Gigi had this vision of herself at a school function with her new man on her arm, and running into parents whose BMW’s and Corvettes had been chopped up by her boy friend. Oh no way, Uh uh!!

He then told Gigi in one breath that he had had everything taken away… well yeah, if it was illegally gained, and then in the next breath told her that he had enough money to get by with (yeah, no duh, after chopping up people’s prize cars). Gigi could just picture his ill-gotten gains, and his money squirreled away where the law had not been able to find it, again having this vision of him being led away in hand-cuffs, while Gigi was surrounded by parents and administrators!!

Gigi told William that it was late and she had to go to sleep, and he actually asked her if she was blowing him off, and if she’d never talk to him again. Ya think?!! She told him she’d talk to him tomorrow after taking it all in. Gigi hoped since he’d had the honesty to tell her, that he’d have the decency to leave her alone.

But no. He texted her the next day, calling her baby. Gigi stopped it then and there, telling him politely that she had been through enough in her life, and that she needed someone who had a stable life and a stable job (all of which are in her plenty of fish profile), and that she really wasn’t up to dating someone with a prison record (which was NOT in her profile, but soon will be, mark my words!!).

He was very sweet, and said he was sorry. Gigi did not feel bad. I am sure that there plenty of nice girls with a prison record of their own, so they can have His and hers prison photos on their Christmas cards. Not Gigi. In this case, Gigi really would prefer to be alone than with him. Gigi does not look good in stripes!! Ye gods… when will the dating improve??

3 Comments on Nightmare Date #37: It wasn’t a REAL crime I went to prison for!!

  1. Dimonique

    His and hers prison photos on their Christmas cards? LOL! You’re awful, Gigi…

  2. Gigi Flores

    I am so glad you are enjoying my stories 🙂 If I am learning anything from all this dating stuff is to stand up for myself and my needs, not settle, and not go gentle into that good night.
    Tell him what you want, what you need, what you miss, and that he just isn’t doing enough. Tell him nicely and gently. But tell him. Otherwise he will continue to do the things that are bothering you.

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