Relationship Advice #36: What to do when they disappear without a word

Gigi is so tired of men who disappear without a word or an explanation. It is not only men who do this. People do not want to face a partner who will rant and rave, or cry, or make a fuss about a break-up. So they run away… leaving you without a chance to say goodbye and get your closure, so that you can move on quicker. So Gigi asked people what should you do when they (substitute “Jean-Claude” for “people”) disappear without a word…

From Gigi: I write a goodbye email… whether or not they answer, I get my closure. Of course, now that I have my blog, it is more than likely that I’ve been writing about all the good stuff about him, so then I write a goodbye and good riddance blog, and that helps… me, at least.

From Matt: Try to make sure my dogs don’t dig her up.

From Gigi: Lmao.. .thanks Matt… I needed a good laugh!!

From Jackson: Check the obituaries? If the other does not care enough or have the decency to break it off by saying so, you haven’t lost much. Move on.

From Amy: Open up a good bottle of champagne and toast good riddance. If they just disappear, it’s probably good they’re gone.

From Joanna: I hunt them down until I find them. Then once I know where they are, I wait outside their house watching them until I know their every movement. Then I start the phone call campaign to find out why they walked out of my life. I call them at all hours of the day and leave messages for them at work. I know their boss would want this cleared up.
🙂 Just Kidding!!
If they have walked out of your life, they have left for a reason. Usually the reason is they are just not that into you anymore and they are too afraid of your reaction to tell you the truth. Just move on. Nothing else to do.

From Ron: I agree with Amy… say good bye and move on 🙂

From Brie: Consider yourself lucky!! Its the ones who don’t disappear when they should that you need to worry about!!!

From Shelly: The ones that appear years later out of nowhere, when your in a new relationship that suck! Stay away!

From Shari: If it’s been a while & I called & they refuse to answer or call back & I hear from others that they are still alive & well… then they get the benefit of hearing about their rudeness through a text and/or voice mail. Now as it turns out this has happened a couple of times in the past few years & I have eventually gotten contacted back… usually with an excuse about a broken phone. But then they are mad about my messages & use that as an excuse to break it off. Whateva. I just like closure. Lol

From Joanna: I was joking earlier but in all truth I have disappeared before. The guy asked me out and I figured why not it might be fun. He was talking about us being in love on the first date!! Then he would call and talk to me endlessly every night as soon as I got home. I was polite as I did not want to hurt his feelings. He asked for a second date and I would make polite excuses, but the guy just never got the hint. After 3 weeks or a month of having this guy take up 3 to 5 hours of my evenings and having him pick out names for our children I quit answering my phone. Several days later there was a knock on my door. It was a good friend of mine. The guy (who lived an hour away) had called my friend and asked him to check in on me because he thought I was dead. Really?! Well I explained the situation to my friend who said he would make a call for me and I never did hear from that guy again.

From Wally: Sorry, this is coming from an old married dude, but… I think it boils down to maturity, if one acts in that fashion, why then would another want to be with them? To me its childlike, and in this regard, it’s not so much that they are running away from someone, but more than likely they are running from themselves to some extent. I am sure this is going much deeper with regard to the answers that you’re looking for however, until individuals face themselve with regard to such matters the proverbial cycle will continue with others who fall victim to the individuals neurosis.
Self esteem… sorry, the lack thereof I believe plays a part in this type of action, masked by the term of being a player, ladies man, what have you. Furthermore it’s a clear lack of common respect and individual consideration… to some extent we are all funny birds in one way or the other. Most feathers have been ruffled, plucked, picked and broken. Irregardless of their condition, the way and intent with which we wear them are to me the most important, and… the most telling

From Winnie: Heave a sigh of relief…he was probably no good

From Nancy: Hope that God gives them a mouth!!!!

From Alan: Call the police.

From Ricardo: Celebrate! be glad they are out of your life, they are an ex for a reason….

From Alana: There are a lot of answers to this question, because it depends on the situation. But, the 1st thing I thought of was: Sometimes that’s the only way to get away from a crazy person.

From Kerry: I’m with Jeremy on this…. It happeed to me this time last year and he is right!!

From Tawny: Check your bank accounts and change all your passwords…

All great answers… hope Jean-Claude is reading this, but the truth is he probably doesn’t care enough to want to know what I think of his leaving… he is a man without depth…

1 Comment on Relationship Advice #36: What to do when they disappear without a word

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