There are good sex toys and there are great sex toys. And then there are the amazing king (or queen) of sex toys. Some toys you can use on your own or with a partner. Some toys can only be used with a partner, which leaves us single women at the mercy of a man, and his whims. Sassy was hoping that her Norwegian man Bobby would be the man that she could depend on, and thinking that he would come see her, even if it meant crossing an ocean, she requested a sex toy that she has wanted to try for over 6 years. A sex swing. Adult Sex Toys was the only one of all the sex toy websites that Sassy reviews for who was not just willing to send her a sex swing to try out with Bobby, but even understood that the review would have to wait until he got to Michigan.
Sassy waited. For a few months she waited. At first, she truly believed that Bobby would come through for her. But it didn’t work out, and his passion sizzled out. He couldn’t handle the long distance thing, nor the commitment thing, nor the staying true to what he said he wanted thing… So Sassy turned to what she CAN count on: sex toys and good booty friends who are both always there when needed.
Now the reviewer who sends her these toys says that she loves the humor in these reviews… Well, I am sure this will give her a big smile and a chuckle or two. Just imagine being a single woman trying to figure out how to hang a sex swing safely and permanently from her living room ceiling… Sassy very quickly realized that this was way beyond her very basic home handy woman skills.
So now picture Sassy asking herself just who she could ask to hang a big old hook from one of the beams in her living room ceiling, so she could invite over one of her favorite booty friends to swing her from the rafters and rock her world… after all, while waiting for Bobby, Sassy had refrained from visiting her friends with benefits, so she was ready for a real serious, and intensive romp. She ran through the various men she knows:
- Ex-husband? NO!! He might do it, but would probably want a romp for old times sakes, and Sassy would rather stick to her toys than ever go back there.
- Neighbors? NOPE!! She didn’t want them knowing just what she does with the men who come in and out of her doors… they might have suspicions, but there was no need to make it crystal clear.
- Ex-brother-in-law? Again, nope… that is a road best not visited
- My handy man, rent-a-hubby Scott? Hmmm…. maybe him she could trust. They were just friends, and he knew about some of her exploits
So very soon after sending Bobby to the Irish doghouse for men who don’t deserve a good woman like Sassy, she had her sex swing all set up. Funny part two of this? How to explain to two teenage sons why there was suddenly a very large hook in the middle of the living room ceiling? Sassy thought quickly and told them it was a hanging device her chiropractic gave her for her back aches… it does exist… Sassy’s mom used to “hang” herself years ago!! Thank God they believed her… at least I think they did!!
See that great swing picture and all its positions? Are you reading this Bobby? Sassy tried out all those positions and then some with her sexy ass friend Walt, an old and very close friend who ranks in the top five best lovers Sassy has ever had. She used to always go to his house, but now, he suddenly feels the urge to call Sassy on the weekends, and is the one to travel to her.
The swing is quite simply amazing… especially if you are a woman like Sassy who is not skinny and cannot easily be picked up and held against a wall or carried around the house. Sassy never felt such depth or such amazing, unique and interesting positions that one can carry out with a swing. It is easily mounted, and just takes a little bit of practice to get into the “swing” of things… I just crack myself up writing these reviews!!
So here is to the best sex toy website ever… thank you for sending me the sex swing, and waiting so patiently for the review… I hope it was worth it… Sassy (and Walt) definitely think so!!
Click below to get yours. Trust me, you will never ever regret it: