Relationship Advice #35: What if he/she has never had a relationship last more than a few months?

He or she has never been in a relationship that lasts longer than a few months. Is that a red flag? There are people out there who never seem to have a relationship that lasts very long… is this something to be wary about, or is it just that they have never met the “right” person?

From Gigi: I think that if you meet someone who has never had anything last for more than few months, then you need to be very careful about getting emotionally involved with them. It is just a disaster waiting to happen, and you will be the one that gets hurt, while they waltz merrily away to their next victim.

From Mark: A flag with a skull and crossbones on it

From Brie: RUN…fast. do not pass go. Do not collect $200…just get the hell out of there. You’ve encountered “the serial dater”!!

From Winnie: Why should it be? perhaps she has never been ready to commit or has not yet found the right person. I think it would be worse if he or she had been in several long lasting relationships that never stuck.

From Matt: Normally, run like hell. However, it could be you just ran into me a decade ago. I never had relationships that lasted – not because I wasn’t willing, it was because I used to have such low self esteem that I couldn’t keep someone interested in me for more than a week. Moral: find out why before you make a decision.

From Brie: Yes…I was hasty. There are exceptions to every rule…but I’ve found the majority of the time these people are serial daters…always looking for the “next best thing”

From Winnie: Aren’t we all? looking for the next best thing? It is human nature always wanting to better the now. When what you find is right…you know it and then finally stop looking.

From Brie: But that’s the problem…these people never think it’s right…they always think something better might just come along. They’re afraid to commit “just in case” regardless of how great their current partner is.

From Ana: There are people in this world that can only share themselves with someone for a little while, then they feel trapped and think that they can’t be with just one person forever…sad, but they are destined to be alone in the long run!

From Shari: Yes, good idea to find out the “why” & keep your eye’s open. Although they may not really know. They may just repeat what was told them by their x’s, or they came up with something. It could be like Mark said, they weren’t ready, or like what Ana said, they just can’t share themselves for very long. There are many possible “or”s. Could even be that they are pathalogical liers & cheaters & they are only in a relationship until she wizes up & catches him. [The latter was an example of a roomate I used to have…he always had 5 girlfriends going at once. They all eventually caught him, thinking there was only one other girl, and they would all eventually take him right back! Oi!! ]

From Matt: Yeah, I’m a rare case, but it just shows that are always exceptions. If you set hard rules, you might miss out on something good!:)

From Jackson: If they’re a youngster then no. If they’re over say 25, then i’ll say probably yes.

From Boris: No, they’re just furiously gaining experience. hop on and enjoy the ride for 3 months. just don’t get too attached.

From Camille: RUN!!

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