Adventures in Dating By Gigi Flores and Helen Obispo

Gigi thought that all women use and love sex toys as much as she does. She was quite surprised at the answers she got when she asked women how they feel about sex toys. Of course, the real thing is better, but I think that having and using toys is better than nothing!!

Here is what our readers thought:

From Gigi: I have always used them, whether I am single or involved with someone. I do not see anything wrong or shameful in using toys to bring yourself pleasure. Masturbation is a part of life, and something that shouldn’t feel wrong or dirty. Now that I review toys and get them sent to me for free, I have been able to try a lot of different ones, and I love them all!!

From Brie: Like-no, love-definitely not. Just the real Mccoy for me!

From Gigi: Hmmmmm so do u use them?

From Brie: Nope…not a big fan

From Mike: Cuz toys don’t roll over and go to sleep.

From Shari: Don’t use them..will only have the real McCoy too.

From Joanna: I prefer the real thing as well. And the batteries won’t go dead.

From Sarah: My man is better than any toy! Love the real thing as well!

From Gracia: I have never use them….but I would like to buy one someday

From Amanda: Don’t know the difference, never had either, but I guess the same reasons guys like PlayGirl. It’s something to use if you don’t have a partner.

From Gigi: Well of course men are better… but am I the only one who uses toys when a man is not available? Gracia, if you want a toy, I can recommend some really good ones!!

From Gracia… Send me the link!!…hehe.

From Gigi: Go to the following link and find one you like:
http://www.adventuresindating.net/category/websites/toy-reviews”>Toy reviews

From Tina: BECAUSE WE CAN!

From Joanna: I don’t think you are the only one that uses them. My friends are always saying how great their are. I have just never tried one and never saw the need. I did go to a party to help out a friend where they showed what was avaiable. It was pretty funny.

From Annie: Nope, quite happy to have a cup of tea instead. Sex just isn’t that important to me and I personally wouldn’t want to fuel an industry that trivializes sex – more than it already is!

From Kerry: Annie… you are joking right? You would rather have a cup of tea? Wow!… Gigi, you really have some “interesting” friends.

From Annie: No, seriously, I am glad that tea appeals more than plastic sex. My views are a lot stronger than this, but don’t think Gigi would appreciate them here…;). Glad you think I am interesting, Kerry!

From Kerry: I think Gigi would be just as intrigued as me Annie. PLEASE tell us why sex isn’t that important to you. I really want to know your views.

From Annie: Kerry, let me ask you a question. What is sex for, in your eyes? What does it mean to you?

From Kerry: It depends on who it’s with. It’s either an amazing experience with someone I’m madly in love with or a fantastic time with someone that isn’t relationship material, but ticks all the other boxes I ask you the
same question.

From Annie: I would agree with your first option, i.e. to me it is an expression of love. Personally (and this is just my opinion, nothing more), I wouldn’t waste this expression on someone I didn’t love – or at least think I love! Just doing the do for the sake of it doesn’t rock my boat. In my mind I put importance on the act when it deserves importance put on it. Otherwise, it becomes a reduced action and it becomes a lesser and more consumerable, expendable thing.

From Kerry: Well, I see what your saying, but personally, if someone I have my eye on, but who isn’t someone I would consider a serious relationship with (let’s say because hes a bit of a party boy), I would definitely have great difficulty in saying no to him. Why would I turn it down? You make sex sound like a love chore… You said that you wouldn’t WASTE the expression? How is it a waste when you are getting great pleasure in return? How is that a waste? It sounds to me that you just don’t like sex at all and you only have it to keep someone you love happy. That is really sad.

From Annie: Yes, that would be sad…if that is what I said. But that isn’t what I said. I didn’t say I don’t like sex and I didn’t say that I would only have it to keep someone I love happy. I did say that I don’t consider it to be a trivial and throw-away act, that for me (and I did also point out that this is my opinion only) sex is not something I would just do for the sake of doing it. To me sex is more than just an act of ‘getting off’ with someone.

From Kerry: No, you didnt say you dont like sex, but it just comes across that way when use words like WASTE. We all have sex just for the sake of doing it, whether it be with someone we love or not…. unless of course its for reasons to get pregnant. So, when you have sex with someone you love… why are you having sex? Well, it’s probably just for the sake of it. Why not?

From Annie: To me it would be a waste to have sex with someone I didn’t love. I don’t see why that would make you think I meant that I don’t like sex. But anyway. When with a partner, one of the expressions of love is sex. Don’t you make love with your partner to give them pleasure and to show that you care for them? Don’t you make love with your partner and feel the beauty of them doing the same for you because they want to express their love for you in this way? Or is it simply to do it for the sake of it? to me that sounds more like a chore than anything I have said. But again, I say that this is my opinion and I accept that most people don’t think like this. This is for me and how I want to live my life and I am not telling anyone else how to live theirs at all.

From Kerry: I completely see what your saying. Having sex with someone you love is in a lot of ways a different thing entirely. I agree with all of the points you made in that respect, but as a single woman who still hasn’t found Mr. Right, I certainly wouldn’t deny myself the opportunity of a good time. I’m certainly not going to stay sex free until he comes my way.

From Amanda: Thank you Annie! I think part of what you are trying to say is that you feel sex is a very personal private thing (in your opinion, which I happen to share) and that you don’t want to share that personal experience with just anyone.

From Aaron: Is an action figure considered a toy?

From Annie: Yes, Amanda. If the act is a display of love, I wouldn’t want to bring it down to an act of simple expendable pleasure else what does that say about what I think of love?

From Aaron: Cause if it is, someone has a toy and is holding out. Busted.

From Kerry: Ha ha ha ha!!! LMAO!!! I’m fortunate enough to be the only person that understands that comment. ha ha ha xxxxx Ok Amanda… I respect your opinion and as I said, I agree with you in some respects… making love is a special thing.. that is why I also save that for someone I love… I just happen to also save a nice amount of energy for the possibility of “no strings attached”, let your hair down (amongst other things) plain (maybe not so plain) sex… nothing more, nothing less.

From Aaron: Yea, you and the possessor of the action figure that claims she has no toys get it. I took a relationship seminar a few years. One thing they stressed is love and sex are two very different things. There can be sex without love, and love without sex, and of course sex with love. The instructors claimed people get themselves in difficult emotional states when they confuse the two. Just throwing that out there.

From Stephanie: Because their man doesn’t do the job every time, and toys always do…

From Gigi: Wow again!! I’m totally with Kerry on sex… it can be amazing and special with someone you love or wild and crazy even if it is casual and just for fun. If I am in love with someone, then I am only with him and it is amazing. But if, like Kerry I am single, then I look for sex purely for fun. There is no on reason why you cannot have both…and if I am in a long distance relationship and the man I love is very far away, then I use my toys for pleasure!!

From Annie: I look around at society today and am glad I have an ‘old fashioned’ viewpoint on sex. I want nothing to do with the free for all type attitude seems to be the norm. Disease, divorce, teenage pregnancy, sex to sell anything and everything, sexualisation of children…to me these are the symptoms of a slack attitude to sex and the price we have to pay for sex without love. Not for me, thanks.

From Gigi: I do not think that there is anything wrong with sex for pleasure. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t cost anything, It isn’t bad for you, as long as you take precautions… and not everyone has someone whom they lov to make love with. I do not see it as a slack attitude to sex. I am not talking about banging a different man every night, But enjoying sex with someone whom you like, that only brings you pleasure? How is that wrong? If sex were bad, then why do our bodies enjoy it? It is not a drug that will harm us. There are ways to make sure you have safe sex, and how can something that brings pleasure to your body be bad?

From Annie: I am not saying it is bad. I am saying that it isn’t something that I would want to use so trivially. Sex has become a commodity due to people not giving it the importance and the value that it really has. It has simply become another throw-away something that you do just because one can. A bit like Primark clothing. Wear it a couple of times and then chuck it away – it simply has no value, is worthless.

From Matt: Annie, I can see your points and respect them. But, the way you state them makes you sound frigid, puritanical, and judgemental. You’re welcome to be old-fashioned, but maybe realize that the world has changed and learn to accept it. You can still use an abacus, but don’t thumb your nose at those of us who choose to use a calculator…

From Gigi: You go Matt!! I couldn’t have said it better myself!!

From Annie: I took great pains to say that what I say is my opinion only, and I haven’t personally attacked anyone. Gigi, I notice that most of your current blog entry is made up of what I have said here so you must have thought my views to be at least interesting to others and yet you cheer on someone who insinuates that I am frigid and judgmental. I find that to be disrespectful. Matt, I am aware that things have moved on, however I really don’t see this particular area having moved on in any beneficial way, except for to those who make a profit from the industry. All I have been saying is that I don’t want to be part of that. I tend to favour my mind over the abacus and the calculator. Reasoning, logic and common sense are some of natures gifts that work far better than man made products

From Gigi: Sorry if it seemed disrespectful… however your views make it seem as though you don’t approve of us or our views on sex. I am sorry but they DO come across as VERY judgmental of the way that Kerry and I and others live our lives… I left your comments because I do not normally delete comments unless someone is hurt by the things written here.

From Boris: They’re lazy. Once again, there’s someone with repressed sexual mores, because they were brought up in an extremely religious environment. It’s sad and warped.

From Camille: For research. To find all the good spots in case he asks for directions or you just feel it’s a teaching moment. Plus toys don’t get tired, sick, or have a bad day at work. Oh and I’ve never had a hateful moment with a sex toy!!
What a great blog!! This one was fun to read!!