Adventures in Dating: Gigi – Part XXXIII

The dates that were never dates…

Pay for it? I don’t think so!! Believe in whatever you tell me? Oh no way!! This chapter is about two men Gigi met, who lied to her in several different ways, expecting her to just believe them, and take their word for things. At least they were dates that were never real dates, and so were not a total waster of Gigi’s time, nor did they threaten to hurt her in the slightest. She mainly had a few good chuckles about them, and saw them as great research for her book, and two funny chapters.

It is sad that Gigi’s first instinct is to distrust most of the men she meets, but so many have lied to her, that a big part of her takes everything they tell with her with a big grain of salt. Or is it a pinch of salt? In Gigi’s case, it probably should be a shovelful of salt!! Even though she might, at times, find happiness with someone, a small part of her always wonders when the other shoe will drop, and he will show his true colors. She normally feels great when she is talking to them, but when she is alone, her mind fills with doubts and worries. And after having read 32 of her chapters… can you blame her?

One of the strangest experiences that Gigi ever had was with a guy she met at the disco club she likes to go to called Boogie Fever. It is where Helen met her lying to get laid man during the Christmas holidays, from part 29. It is probably not the best of places to find a man in whom you can trust, but despite that, every now and then, Gigi and her friends meet someone there that makes them consider it, even if only for a very brief, and OMG WTF was I thinking moment. Of course this OMG WTF feeling only comes later, much, much later with the clarity brought about when you are sober, sane, and slightly aghast at ever having fallen for “All that…crap!!

Gigi met Darnell one night when she was out dancing with Helen, and they both enjoyed talking to him… As always, the fun comes first, and then comes the total disillusionment. Ok, seriously now, if you are beginning to think that Gigi is beyond bitter and cynical, please remember that right now Gigi has met Jean-Claude and is giving him all of her trust and love. With Darnell, however, Gigi should have known something was up because he flirted with both her and Helen all night long, in a way that made it unclear in whom he was interested. Darnell was a good looking African American, and since this is not normally Helen’s type, Gigi thought that he just might be hers for the taking… if she so desired. Gigi liked the look of Darnell… because unlike Helen, he WAS just her type. Black and beautiful. But since he was talking to Helen as much as he was talking to Gigi, she wasn’t sure whom he liked more.

He flirted with both of them equally… don’t you just hate it when someone does that? It’s like he is playing it safe, and keeping his options open, or just trying to ensure himself of catching at least one of a group of women. You feel like telling him to pick one already!! This has happened to Gigi a lot, especially in the old salsa dancing days with Kelly. Men would look at both of them – two curvaceous and vivacious women, one blonde and one brunette, and you could see their eyes going from one to the other. You could almost even picture the thoughts in their minds, as they tried to decide which one to go for. Gigi and Kelly had decided long ago that if they both liked the same guy, they would leave it up to him to pick. Kelly has won more times than Gigi has, darn those dimpled-faced blondes!! Now ex-boyfriends are always out of bounds, and are not to be touched. Men unknown to both of them are up for grabs…

Darnell was so much fun at the club and he spent the last few hours of the night with Helen and Gigi. They spent the hours people watching which at a club playing disco music can be hilarious. .. especially at Boogie Fever, that has some very strange people, that must be allowed out of low security mental homes. There are some people from the actual disco era, still in their original gear. There are preppies and yuppies (do we still use those terms?) wearing new copies of disco clothes, shoes, and wigs and wearing them out, arriving in large groups, and dancing the night away in their chunky heels. We have our very own Frankenstein look-alike, hippy flower power people straight from Woodstock, John Travolta “Saturday Night Live” wannabes, Cyndi Lauper/Madonna dress-up dolls, and even a Michael Jackson or two, complete with all the moves and the one silver glove.

So yes, I must confess that Darnell, Gigi, and Helen they did make a little fun… ok, a lot of fun… of some people. They also looked at the people flirting with each other and trying to pick each other up. All three of them wondered who’d get lucky and pointed out who simply didn’t stand a chance!! When they turned to talk about themselves and their dating lives, Darnell couldn’t believe the men that Gigi and Helen had been meeting lately. He said that he was too scared to date because of past hurts and that he did not want just a casual thing, but that he was only looking for serious relationships. Serous relationships, my ass!!

They talked about the distrust that comes after being hurt, and Darnell told Gigi that he was looking for someone whom he could trust… that he was tired of being hurt and deceived. As always, it was interesting to hear the male point of view, but part of Gigi couldn’t quite believe him. However, he really was fun to hang out with, so Gigi thought he had possibilities for at least friendship. She wasn’t head over heels in lust or like, but neither was she repulsed by him. He walked them out at the end of the night and was a total gentleman, asking for nothing, but Gigi’s phone number. However, it ended up being an encounter that went nowhere because of his… let’s say, expectations!!

Some of the things that quickly turned Gigi off were finding out that he was currently unemployed and had no car, and lived with a room mate… He basically headed Gigi’s “Not to ever date” list. Yet there was no one else she was talking to, so she began a texting relationship with him. She had no intentions of it ever going further than that, but it was still nice to have someone to talk to after a day at work. Sometimes all we need to be happy is a little attention, and to be made to feel special. They texted for a few days. Nothing too serious. They talked about going to a club together one day, or maybe a movie, but made no specific plans. Darnell was very honest about having little money, no car, no real job (only part time artist stuff), and living with room mates. Now, don’t get me wrong, Gigi is not materialistic, but she decided after dating John after Christmas, that the very least she could ask for was for the man to at least to have a car!!!

Gigi was not in the least bit tempted to take it any further with Darnell, but she did feel sorry for him, for all that he was going through. They talked every night for about a week or so, and Gigi offered to make him dinner one night, and suggested they could stay in and watch a movie. He lived near Gigi, so he’d be able to walk over. She would draw the line at having to also go pick him up!! The night they had met, he told them that he used to be a teacher, and that he was now a freelance artist. Supposedly he was quite good at graphic art designs, and did work every now and then. I guess that didn’t pay much, because one night he began to text Gigi about his money worries.

The text conversation they had that night was what made this the strangest experience of all. Now Gigi and Darnell had not as much as kissed. They hadn’t even flirted or made any kind of sexual innuendoes. It really just was a friendship at this point, or so Gigi thought. They talked about their days, and he never actually asked Gigi out for either a date or any kind of get together. That is why it was so strange at what their texting led to one crazy night.

It began when Darnell began to complain about not having any money at all. Gigi began suggesting jobs that he could look for. He began to suggest that maybe he could sell his services… his sexual services!! Gigi told him, in no uncertain terms, that she did not yet have to pay for sex and that she found it very offensive that he’d even ask!!! She was also slightly aghast that he even thought a woman would pay him for sex!! Any woman!! He was cute, but he was no Denzel or Shemar…

Below are the exact and actual texts that they sent each other so you can see it was no lie!! Thank you Iphone for preserving them…

From Darnell: I am in a big dilemma, I need to make some money but don’t want to be unethical. Any suggestions?

From Gigi: Have you thought about subbing at schools?

From Darnell: I don’t have any degrees, so won’t that be a problem?

From Gigi: Yes that would be a problem. Apply for one of those Obama grants to go to school. Have you looked for work at nearby supermarkets, restaurants, or fast food places?

From Darnell: I kind of need the money before February 10th, that’s why I’d mentioned, I didn’t want to be unethical. Like dating these days, everything is quick and now.

From Gigi: Unethical is not good. You need good honest work.

From Darnell: I know I do. Sad to say but it’s soooo much easier for women in these kinds of situations.

From Gigi: How can a woman get money more easily than a man?

From Darnell: Think about it.

From Gigi: You mean for sex?

From Darnell: Unfortunately in some cases, yes.

From Gigi: Are you asking me to pay you for sex? Or if I think you should sell yourself for sex?!!!!!

From Darnell: I’m not asking or saying that I’m going to sell myself, but things are getting dire. And it’s not just me I have to think about. I do have to help with my kids.

From Gigi: Sex is free these days… unless you are REALLY ugly and gross looking!!! I don’t think you could make money that way. Sorry. And I can’t help you at all. I’m a single mom and get nothing from my ex. And anyways, if I want sex, I can get it for free.

From Darnell: Then why am I still alone, horny, and broke!!!!!

From Gigi: Because you need a job first. Then come the women. No one will date you if you are that hard up for money. And you need a car and money to pick up women. Again, sex is easy to find, but you have to have at least money for drinks. A car. And a place of your own. I can’t help you sorry. Remember I told you that I’m done with just plain booty.

From Darnell: I’m not asking you to, I’m just trying not to stress myself out about money I don’t have. I thought some good conversation would be fine.

From Gigi: I don’t think you are the person I thought you were. To even mention sex and payment is quite demeaning and I don’t think we should talk anymore. I don’t know who you thought I was. But I don’t have to pay for sex or companionship or friendship and you should be ashamed to have even brought up the subject. Please don’t contact me again.

From Darnell: Sorry you feel that way and I was not saying you should pay for anything. I wanted advice for me not to go out and do something I would regret.

From Gigi: I would have been your friend and cooked for you or rented movies to watch together. But to even consider selling yourself for sex is too demeaning. There must be other ways to get work. I’m sorry, but I just can’t go on talking with you. I’m slightly horrified and have never been so shocked.

From Darnell: It was a crazy ass idea that just popped into my head. I wouldn’t do such a thing. But I’ve never been so stressed about money before. Ok, thanks for the chat, I have morals and ethics… that’s why I brought it up in the first place. It was nice to have met you.

And that was that. Maybe he wasn’t asking Gigi to pay for sex. And maybe he was. But regardless, Gigi found the whole experience a shocking nightmare that almost could’ve been a date!! She had a lucky escape this time… and luckily she didn’t waster more than about a week of her life!!

Can you blame Gigi for losing faith in men? The local men were so turning her off, that Gigi did something she had sworn to NEVER do… not since she dated her Canadian Daniel. She began to talk to Tyrone, who lived in New York, thinking that at least he would not be able to let her down… at least not in person. Gigi had had a long distance relationship with Daniel for almost 7 years, and she had so many happy moments, both with him in person and while apart. When it ended, she promised herself never to do that again… and yet here she is now, madly in love with Jean-Claude who lives in Ireland… way further than Daniel ever did!!

Tyrone found her on one of the dating sites that Gigi was still a part of, and since he was far away, she thought she’d be pretty safe due to the fact that he wasn’t after just sex. Tyrone was a hot, gorgeous, black man from one of the Caribbean islands, which meant that not only did he have looks going for him, he also had that amazingly sexy accent. He was a soft-spoken man, seemingly sweet. Gigi told him all about her past online experience and told him she was writing a book about it, and working on a blog. Gigi had just started the blog with Helen, and Tyrone even gave her some answers to blog questions. He told her that maybe he’d end up being the last chapter in her book… well, he definitely ended up as a chapter, but as for being the last one? I so do NOT think so!!

Why men…ok, why people do and say the things they do, and then don’t follow through with them is totally beyond Gigi. Why pretend to like you, to want to even pursue the possibility of falling in love with you, and then just run away, without giving it a chance, will always confuse Gigi. Are people really that scared of love and relationships? Do they truly enjoy going from one person to another on on online dating sites, only doing the get to know you, and meet once, and maybe have one night of sex, and then just moving on to the next one? Gigi is so tired of that, but it is all that she seems to find. And it truly isn’t just her!! She has found quite a few blogs these days of women going through the exact same thing!!

Tyrone and Gigi were soon talking on the phone every night. They texted, yahooed, and even talked one night on web cams, through yahoo. He had an Iphone too, and seemed sweet and perfect for Gigi. He worked in construction, had about four or five kids (good grief), and was very considerate. He told Gigi that he really wanted to meet in person, and soon had her convinced, totally convinced, that he was going to come spend Valentine’s Day with her. Wow. Gigi hadn’t had an honest to God date for Valentine’s in more years than she cared to remember, so she fell for his lie. Because lie it was, even though to this day, he insists it wasn’t. Yes. He too has hung around in Gigi’s life, although now they only say hi on yahoo once in a while.

Gigi was soon making plans for Valentine’s. She even bought a dress for it. He told her that he had bought his ticket and reserved a hotel room for a while weekend at the very best hotel in downtown Detroit, overlooking the river. They had such plans. They were still talking a lot, and though they hinted at the possibilities of an amazing sexual encounter together, he was never crude about it, nor did they get into too intimate a detail. He didn’t even try to show her anything on the webcam, just his gorgeous face. And he never asked Gigi to show him anything either.

Suddenly it happened. He disappeared. After several weeks of non-stop talking and texting and messaging, he disappeared, just a few weeks before he was supposed to come see her. Gigi was immediately suspicious, and so she did what any rational woman would do: she called the hotel that he was supposedly registered at. They had never heard of him. So Gigi lost it. She just plain lost it, and she texted him and called him leaving him angry messages and voicemails. How could he have lied about such a thing?!! I can see him suddenly telling her that he just didn’t have the money to come. THAT she would have understood… but to lead her on and tell her an outright lie? That was so totally and needlessly cruel, and made her feel like a total fool for having believed him, even for a brief fricking New York minute!!

A day passed and she thought that she’d never hear from him. Suddenly the phone rang and it was him, calling HER crazy and psychotic for having gone off on him. He swore up and down that he had the airmail and hotel confirmation emails… which he never sent her, despite his promises to send them. In Gigi’s eyes, that showed what a total liar he had been from the start, and how he had simply been using Gigi for… dang it, what the heck HAD he been using her for? Company? Attention? Was he a married man, bored out of his mind, needing someone to idolize him from afar? Gigi never found out, and probably never will. She just wrote it down as more research, and yet more proof of how confusing her life is, and how crazy online dating is!! Two more men, one more chapter, and no steps closer to understanding just WTF to do with her love life, or lack of it…but just keep trudging along, waiting for the Norwegian prize at the end of the rainbow, currently living in Ireland among the leprechauns, who must be laughing at destiny finding Gigi the perfect man, so totally out of her reach… for now.

2 Comments on Adventures in Dating: Gigi – Part XXXIII

  1. Dimonique

    Girl, I went to Inyo across from Boogie Fever last weekend and the people-watching was PRICELESS! LOL. Had myself a Tyrone, too, once…

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