Long Distance Relationship Advice #4: Avoid being jealous

Try never to be jealous of your partner’s friends. You are miles away from each other, and he/she deserves to be happy and be with friends he or she enjoys being with. They have the right to go out and have fun, and not just stay home moping and pining for you… even if it means that he is with them rather than on the phone with you.. So let him/her have friends to keep them happy while you are apart.

Now of course, it is also important that they do not ignore you while they are hanging out with their friends. Just as if you were living close to each other, you have to make time for yourself, and have time to be with your other friends. The best thing is to find a night or two for them, and then quite a few nights of your own together.

Sometimes, thanks to time difference, you can have both. This happens quite a bit to Gigi and Jean-Claude. He is five hours ahead of her, so he can go have some beers at the pub with his friends, and then come home and join Gigi when it is her night time. He is quite the night owl, so this works well for both of them (though it does make him tired for work in the mornings!!).

It is very important not to let jealousy take over, and turn you into a whining complainer. Try to share your lives while apart, go out and then come home and tell each other about what you did. If you want to make a long distance relationship work, you have to realize that your lives do go on, and include people other than yourself. As long as you believe in each other, and trust each other, and you are of course faithful, then it CAN work. As Gigi told Jean-Claude last night: I trust you completely. if all you wanted was physical sex, then you would hardly be involved with someone who is so very far away.

From Amy: So how to make a long distance relationship work? Treat them as you would your best friend who lives far away. Afterall, a relationship is nothing more than a very special friendship, with attraction throne in. I was in a relationship with a man who lived in Texas for just over 4 years. We did break up, but it wasn’t because of the distance. We had a wonderful relationship, as we were first and foremost friends. We spoke every night, discussing each other’s days. We took extra care to be very open with each other about our lives, so jealousy could never blind side us. We enjoyed the romance too, but it was the friendship and trust we built that kept us together. Even though we are no longer seeing each other, we are still very much friends. Good luck!

So trust each other, and try to keep the green-eyed jealous monster at bay!!

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