Adventures in Dating By Gigi Flores and Helen Obispo

To Jean-Claude, from Gigi:

Just a few days ago, Jean-Claude told me I should write a book on long distance relationships… so this is for him, my way of appreciating all the wonderful things he has already done for us, and since he loves how I write, this is one way to show him how much he means to me.

Long distance relationships can totally stink, but they are so much better than the alternative: that of not having the love of your life IN your life at all, and being totally alone, or worse, being with someone who lives near you or even with you, but who does not make you happy. Gigi was in a long distance relationship once, for over 6 years, and when it was over, she swore she’d never do it again. And yet, once she began falling for Jean-Claude, it was totally inevitable. She’d rather be separated from him, and lonely at times, and missing him so damn much that it actually physically hurts… than not have him in her life at all. Gigi will do all that she can to make this work, even if it means going for days without hearing from him. Better that, than never hearing from him again.

To help herself, and her other friends going through long distance relationships, Gigi decided to find ways to make it work… between her and Jean-Claude, between Angel and Leroy, between Sarah and Robbie… between anyone out there currently in a long distance relationship.

Today Gigi was facebooking Angel… she and Angel were seriously missing their sweeties… and somehow talking together about it helped. At least it helped Gigi get over her moping because she hadn’t talked to Jean-Claude all day. After weeks of nonstop communication by phone and text and internet, we’ve had to tone it down a bit, to save money for the important stuff: like life, bills, and seeing each other in person. Gigi had to remind herself that it is the hardest in the beginning, when it is all new and wonderful and exciting, but that long distance does get easier to deal with… as long as you find a way to communicate, see each other, and come up with a plan for the future.

Gigi has so much to be thankful for, and so many ways to keep Jean-Claude with her when he is unable to communicate. I have two wonderful voice mails… one in Norwegian that I still have no idea what it says, lol… but sounds so damn sexy that I don’t care what it says, and one in English that makes me melt every time I hear it. I have a video I taped of him on skype talking to me about our future and of growing old together in Mallorca. I have a few sweet and beautiful emails he sent me. I have dozens of messages on face book. I have his photos… on my phone and computer screens. I have over 500 phone texts… yup over 500 in just a few weeks. We already have so many beautiful memories together, without having made any in person yet, that all of this will keep me going until he is once again available on the phone and internet. It has to be enough, because Gigi needs him and doesn’t want to imagine a life without him.

I will be collecting advice from people who’ve been in long distance relationships (or were at one point in their lives), and using them in next week’s blog.

For now, here are Gigi’s own thoughts on why long distance relationships ARE worth it… worth every lonely moment, and tear in your eye, every ache in your heart, and every minute spent apart.

• How could one say “Nope, I’m not doing a long distance relationship”, when just the sound of his voice makes you smile… smile from deep within your heart so that it reaches your eyes, and simply makes them glow with so much happiness, that people you meet think you are high!!
• How could one give up on that perfect person for you, simply because that person just happens to live many, many miles away? People did it during the war, for years… before email, before texting, before skype and facebook… and they kept their love alive through letters (Remember those days of snail mail and actually having to put pen to paper?)
• How could you ever ignore the happiness that one person can give you… a person committed enough to you that he or she will change their lives for you, consider moving to be near you, change their job to make more money, ask you to marry them, forsake all others even though it will mean being alone most nights?
• How could you not give someone a chance…if that meant that one day, you’d always be together and no longer apart… even if it means months or years apart, while you try and find a way to be together?
• How could you turn your back on someone who knows you so well, it’s as if they have a guide to what makes you YOU? Would it be better to be with someone close up who doesn’t even take the time to find out that you have a ton of nicknames? That your favorite colors are red and pink? That you hate housework, but love cooking? Wouldn’t you rather have someone who knows you better than anyone else ever has, and loves everything about you…the good and the bad?
• How could you give up on finding THE ONE… that one person that some people spend their lifetime looking for, that so many never find? Just because of a little thing like distance? Impossible. Inconceivable. Never. At least not Gigi.
• How could you walk away from someone who makes you so happy from a distance that you don’t know how you were ever happy before him or her? Someone who in just a few weeks has turned your life around and given you hope you thought was gone for good?
• How could you ever let the fear of a possible future heart break keep you from giving someone a chance to be your soul mate… the person you’ve been searching for for years? You need to give love a chance. If it works out, you will be with the one you were meant to be with. If for some unforeseen reason, it does not work out, then at least you will always know you gave love a chance.

Gigi will always be on the side of giving love a chance… because the benefits far outweigh the risks… and if a little loneliness and pain is with her now, because Jean-Claude is so far away, it will all have been worth it the day they are always together.

I dedicate this blog to Jean-Claude, and also to Angel and Leroy… may our love stories have the happy endings they deserve.