The Many O’s of Gigi, and the Drive From Hell That Was ‘O’ So Worth It
(Today’s title is thanks to Julian – in fact the whole chapter is thanks to him)
“Oh” Gigi!! Gigi and her many O’s… well, she really went and did it this time. Totally lost her mind for a man. She drOve for 18 hours, for 733 miles (one way), through the first and worst blizzard of the year, through snOw, and rain, and sleet, just to spend a few days with her “Oh” so sexy sailor, Julian. She hadn’t seen him in over five months, not since they first met on her vacation in Spain. They’d had several long distance fall outs, when after three months of faithfully emailing her, he’d suddenly stopped, and then even though he was finally in the U.S., didn’t come to see her. There were reasons for this (no access to email, and the illness of his son), but Gigi had nevertheless felt slightly abandoned and found it hard to understand and forgive him. At times he drOve her tOtally crazy with the things he said. He did not have the easiest personality in the world, and he was even more stubborn than Gigi, if that‘s possible… And yet each time he’d reappear in her life, Gigi fell victim to his sexy voice, his wild suggestions, and the way he seemed to know her likes “O” so well. Whenever they talked on the phOne, it was as if the months slipped away, and all she could remember were thOse fun-filled days on a little Spanish island, where she first met her sexy, sweet, fun sailor. (Ok, no more O’s, you get the drift).
Julian and Gigi had emailed and talked on the phone a few times in the past few weeks, after they made up for the umpteenth time, about Gigi coming to see him, but she hadn’t heard from him for a few days, so she didn’t know if he’d be free to see her or not. Throughout the previous months, he’d drummed into her that his Navy career was unpredictable, which made it hard for him to know when he’d be free, or even where he’d be stationed. With his track record and his “I could get shipped out at any time” warnings, Gigi had not known for sure if she’d be seeing him or not. So she hadn’t done laundry, she hadn’t packed, she hadn’t looked for hotels, she hadn’t looked for a rental car, and she’d even made plans to go out dancing with Helen.
It was her last day of work before the winter break, and suddenly she got a call from Julian, asking if she was packed and ready to get in a car and come see him. It was such typical Julian MO, and part of the reason why he drove her so crazy. She told him she was still at work, and that the last she’d heard from him a few days ago, was that he needed to check his schedule. She said that if he still wanted her to come, she’d be ready to leave by the next day, and would get there at night.
“But baby, I was kind of hoping to see you by morning,” he said, as he tried to wheedle her into leaving right away. “If you leave now, I’ll be able to see you before I have to work at night.”
“Wait a minute!! You have to work?” Gigi exclaimed. Typical. Just typical Julian. “I’m going to drive all that way and not see you all the time?”
“I only have to work Saturday and Sunday night. You’d be sleeping anyways. We’ll still have all day together, and then I have Monday night off, and I don’t have to be back until Tuesday.” Gigi could almost see that look in Julian’s eyes, the look that made her forget all the reasons why she really shouldn’t be involved with a man who’d be away from her more than with her.
“You have to work nights!“ she exclaimed, “but then you’ll be too tired to… let’s say, make my long drive worth while.”
“I could never be too tired for that,” he told her. Famous last words. Gigi should have remembered that men who don’t get their sleep are grumpy little babies.
“I must be crazy for even considering it,” thought Gigi to herself. Her friends all thought she was crazy for even thinking of driving all that way just for amazing sex. Then she recalled that naughty devilish look in his eyes (he wasn’t nicknamed Diablo, the devil, for nothing), and she remembered just how amazing it had been between them, even though they’d barely had any alone time together when they first met last summer, surrounded as she’d been by her sons and students. She thought about what an emotional wreck her life had been the past few months, and realized that she just needed to get away. To be with someone who wouldn’t damage her tender and recently bruised heart. It would be like a mini vacation. A vacation with lots of “O’s.”
“But you could get booty here in Michigan any time you want it,” said Susan.
“Oh yeah?”said Gigi. “And just where am I going to get a man, willing to stay at a hotel , and have meals out, and lots of amazing sex for four days in a row? Last I checked all my booty is over way too quickly and not heard from again in months.”
As all this flashed in her mind, she heard herself tell Julian, “I’ll come. But I can’t leave until midnight. I have to do laundry, pack, get a car, and find a room.” She didn’t tell him that she wasn’t going to let Helen down, and so planned on getting a few hours of dancing in. Girl friends still, and always will, come first for Gigi.
So suddenly Gigi was spending her lesson plan time and lunch time, looking for rental cars and hotels. She found a great and cheap hotel on the beach (guess no one goes to Virginia Beach in the winter). The car was not so cheap, and how could she get a car at midnight? “I could drive my car,” thought Gigi, and then she thought of the mileage that was already on it, and how it was leased. Before she knew it, she was on the phone with Mazda (will they give her a future discount by being mentioned in her book? If so, Apple and Mazda owe Gigi something, for all the Iphone mentions, and now, for mentioning her beautiful Mazda CX7 – a truly amazing SUV that Gigi will sorely miss – oh the things that have been done in that car). She’d leased her car almost two years ago, helped by the now infamous and recently disappeared David, who has still not called back or forgiven her for writing about his current dating life… David Schmavid.
Gigi picked up her sons, dropped them off at home, and drove to Mazda, quickly test drove two cars, and before she knew it, had turned in her car (or would in a few days). And that would be the final David memory and constant reminder thrown out of her life. He would have told her that she was crazy to jump into a lease so quickly, but it was quick and painless, and solved the problem of her going over her mileage. She now had a new (red of course) Mazda 3… something smaller, and hopefully better on gas and mileage. She had impulsively (Gigi? Impulsive? Nah!!) leased a new car, and had no excuse on why she couldn’t go. She was even going to put all those miles on her old car, and not on her new one, because she could have driven the new one home if she’d wanted to.
Next: a hotel. It took her four tries: two on her own, and two with the travel agent’s help, on a website that will not be given free publicity because of how inefficient they were. They ended up charging Gigi for FOUR rooms. What? Did they think she was going to the Naval Base in Norfolk, Virginia to do several young Navy hotties, instead of her one known and tried, and perfectly fine (if memory served her well, five months down the road) sailor? Now Gigi is not a rich woman, and four hotel rooms charged to her check card, quickly drained her checking balance to zero, which would have left her with no travel money, if she hadn’t had some in her savings.
It was pure chance that she decided to check her balance, and of course when she tried calling the travel website, she was put on hold for almost an hour, and had no way of getting through, and the website blamed it on the bad weather. Did they only have three agents on the phone that night? Her bank could also do nothing about it. You’d think that four simultaneous charges would have made the bank think something was wrong, let alone the travel website, but I guess they thought it perfectly normal that Gigi would get so many hotel rooms. Maybe they are fans of Gigi’s stories? We really should ask Elsie, the founder of the Gigi fan club on face book. Are they members? Gigi called the travel website every day, even on Monday, and still the charges had not been reversed. Next time Gigi uses price line!!
Car and hotel problem somewhat solved, she threw some clothes in the washing machine, and some in her traveling case (after all, she wouldn‘t really need that many clothes right?). She remembered that Julian told her to bring her toys, so she tucked those in her bag. Then she and her youngest son Shane (he was going to babysit Helen‘s son Gideon), went off to Helen’s, so they could get some dancing in at Boogie Fever. “Now it’s only for a few hours, until midnight at the latest,” she told Helen, “no matter whom we meet.” Gigi hadn’t even bothered getting dressy. She was going just to dance, and to give Helen a few hours out.
Now of course, Helen met a nice guy, but Gigi reminded her of the other “nice” guys who had let them down. This one didn’t even ask Helen for her number, telling her he’d rather leave it to fate. “Fate?” said Gigi in amazement, when he told her that he liked Helen, but was leaving it all to fate. “Haven’t you seen ‘Serendipity’ and how they spend the whole movie almost running into each other again, but don’t and it takes them forever to find each other again? Nope. You give me your number, and that way we can contact you if we are interested.” After the last fiasco, that you will soon read about in Helen’s stories, Gigi decided she’d try and do a better job of screening the men Helen met. Maybe she could do a better job of deciphering men for her than she did for herself.
Her job done, Gigi got a call from Julian, right at midnight, asking if she was on her way. “I am right now, baby,” said Gigi, as she dragged Helen away from Tim. They left the club to find… snow!! Falling down steadily, and sticking to the ground. “Snow!! NO!!” thought Gigi. “Just what I needed on my road trip.” Their car slipped and slid all the way to Helen’s apartment. Why is it that the first snowfall of the year makes everyone forget how they drove in it the previous years? By the time Gigi dropped Helen off, picked up her son, and got back home, and finished packing, it was 1:30 in the morning. And it was still snowing. Gigi threw in several pillows and blankets in the back of her car, and all the baked goods her students had given her that day. “Just in case,” she thought.
And so, dressed in her pink Betty Boop flannel pajamas, pink hoodie, pink fuzzy socks, and her snow boots, she got in her car and bravely started on her trip. She tucked in way sexier clothes for when she’d be ready to pick up Julian, but she wanted to drive comfortably, and garters just are not at all comfy!! She typed in the addresses on her Iphone (that’s how many mentions now, Apple?) and set off through the first serious snowfall of the winter, after first slipping on the ice outside her house, and banging her knee and wrist. Little did she know it would seriously be the never ending trip from hell.
Gigi told herself, rather naively and optimistically, that she could drive 733 miles in about ten hours, maybe less if she drove fast. She never took into account the snow or the coming blizzard that everyone seemed to know about, except herself. What, you say? Check the weather report? Yeah, well that’s one thing Gigi didn’t do, so she had no idea of the blizzard descending on the east coast, that would follow her from Michigan and into Ohio, would turn Pennsylvania into a snow covered slippery state, made Maryland into a winter wonderland, and even hit Virginia, no longer the land of the lovers, but the land of the frozen sun lovers who have no idea what to do or how to drive in snow conditions.
In fact, when she finally got to Virginia Beach, eight hours later than she’d thought, she saw ten accidents in half an hour. Ten cars that ended up in ditches (one totally upside down), even though Virginia Beach only got about half an inch of snow. We must also remember that Gigi had not grown up around snow, and in fact, was known to hibernate all winter because she hated it so much. The only thing she liked about snow, was snow days and no school. Driving in it? This was the first road trip ever that Gigi would undertake in snow conditions. Was it worth it… just read on.
Thankfully she had her friends, on the phone and on face book, and she kept them all close and updated. “Text while driving?” she laughingly said several times. “Who’s driving? I could run faster than this,” she proclaimed, as the snow began to pile up, and her visions of driving 733 miles at 70-80 miles an hour quickly disappeared, and turned into 20-30 miles an hour, or crawling bumper to bumper at no miles an hour. “You’re still not there,” asked her friends in horror and amazement. “Why are you doing this again?” they’d then ask, telling her it better be some amazing booty. Le’Ro sweetly called and texted a few times, asking why she was doing this, and how could Julian have asked it of her, and why hadn’t she turned back yet. The sweetest contact of all was Julian, who texted and called a lot to make sure that she was ok, that she was driving slowly and carefully, laughing with Gigi as she told him all the things she was seeing and going through to get to him, and promising her that it would be worth it.
Gigi listened to songs all the way, singing her heart out, actually enjoying the alone time. She drove from 2-5 am, and pulled over in one of those rest stops. Thanking God that she’d brought all the blankets and pillows, she was able to grab some sleep, and woke up refreshed and so raring to go, that she drove straight through from 7 AM until 10 PM, without even stopping to eat, only stopping twice for gas and bathroom breaks. She kept telling herself that she’d throw herself on him the minute she saw him, and that he’d be lucky if she let him come up for air by morning.
It was definitely an education for Gigi, as she quickly learned several things on her trip:
If her Spanish program is ever cancelled due to the wonderful education budget cuts looming ahead, she could always get a job as an all-night truck driver.
Truck drivers have no idea how to drive in snow, and barrel down on the fast lanes, and end up in ditches.
She has a lot of patience and doesn’t let the slowness of the drive or the amount of the snow drive her crazy (as long as she has face book to keep her company).
When snow fills up highways, cars don’t know where the lane is to drive in, and invent their own lane, that invariably is in the middle of two actual lanes.
Next time you decide to go on a 733 mile trip to go get booty…check the weather channel!!
Knowing Gigi’s life and luck as you must by now, you will probably not be at all surprised to find out that she drove all that way, through all that snow (20 inches, of snow that is), all to end up sleeping ALONE in a hotel room in Virginia Beach. Yup. All that way, and her Julian was unable to leave the naval base that night because of the storm. Life according to Gigi… Although to be perfectly honest, she was kind of relieved to have the night to herself, after having driven so far and for so many hours on barely any sleep.
She’d begun to go slightly stir crazy the last few hours, inventing silly songs like “This is the drive that never ends, yes it goes on and on, my friends” and “133 miles to go, 133 miles to go, you take one down, you pass it around, 132 miles to go…“ So Gigi really needed some alone time to recover from her trip and get ready for that mind blowing sex. Instead of having to pick him up, looking and sounding like a crazy woman, she was able to curl up in bed, with a good book, chocolates, and simply enjoy being alone. Alone. What a concept. Yet it was one that Gigi was slowly beginning to consider these days.
By the next morning, Gigi had caught up on her sleep, was refreshed, and anxiously awaiting the part where that long drive became “O” so worth it. Julian called her before 8 am, and told her where to pick him up (remember, Julian had no car and no home, other than a large Navy ship). Thanks to her wonderful Iphone, Gigi had no trouble finding him. His naval base wasn’t far from the hotel, and soon there he was, waiting for her to pick him up. Gigi stopped the car, left it running, and ran into his arms, to the amusement of many naval men. Gigi didn’t care, sure that it must be a common site to see happy women run into the arms of Navy men.
The minute Gigi saw Julian, she knew it would be well worth the trip. And after several “Oh my Gods“, “Oh dear Gods“, and “Oh thank you Gods”, and so many intense “O‘s” that Gigi lost count after five (and that was just in the first session), she was one very happy woman. “You were worth every mile of that trip from hell,” she happily told Julian, who just gave her this devilish smile, like the cat that licked the cream (which he did “O” so very well). Sorry no, more details, although Gigi is seriously considering writing her very first X-rated Gigi story ever, and charging her readers for it. I wonder how many would actually be interested in that? Of course, it was really Julian’s idea for her to write an X-rated version just for him (if you remember, he had a short porn acting career in his youth, which definitely explained all the “O’s”).
By that night, several people at the Travelodge hotel must have thought that there was a religious convention going on, if the “Oh my God’s” were anything to go by. Because, Gigi proclaimed out loud, to God and to Julian, to her five best girl friends by text, and to all on face book that the 733 miles of snow covered miles were “Oh” so worth it. Helen was so cute, reminding Gigi that what she wrote on her face book wall could be read by just anyone on face book. Gigi reminded her that she always “told it all on Gigi stories anyway” that all her face book friends were sent links to read, so they’d all find out about it anyways.
The “Do Not Disturb” sign remained on the door for the next four days, as they only left the room for Julian to go back to the base to work, or for them get some food in a very deserted Virginia Beach, quite empty apart from other naval men – oh Gigi and her girl friends would get into some serious trouble here. She needed to convince them to go on the next road trip with her. There was even a salsa club for Kelly, and lots of gorgeous Latino navy men. Good thing the hotel charged by the day and not by the orgasm, or else Gigi would have had a very hard time paying the bill.
Now, no matter how amazing the sex was, it was not a totally ideal trip. Gigi had forgotten how stubbornly argumentative Julian was. In fact, he turned almost every comment she made into an argument, even arguing about her girl friends, and why they did what they did when he didn’t even know them. And yet, Gigi had not felt so alive in years. She’d probably end up killing him, if they spent a lot of time together, but she knew that half of the time, he argued with her just to rile her up, and get her going, and by the time they’d get back to their room, he had stoked up her emotions so high, that it just added to the pleasure.
He could also be so unbearably sweet. In the car on the drive to the hotel, he’d laughed at her choice of disco songs playing on the ipod, and Gigi had groaned to herself, wondering what he’d like to listen to. He turned to her ipod, and was soon singing to her (in rather a nice voice). His choice? Air Supply songs!! Gigi thought that was ever so sweet and romantic, especially since he knew every single word of her favorite Air Supply songs, and he sang them to her so unselfconsciously. He even passed the dreaded hand holding test that Gigi secretly made her men pass. Most failed it without even knowing it. Gigi loved holding hands while driving. Her test? Well, she’d place her hand near theirs while they were driving and would watch to see if they’d pick it up and hold it of their own free will. Julian picked hers up within seconds, and Gigi sighed with happiness… great sex, and moments of sweetness. What more could a Gigi ask for? Just read on, and you’ll see…
He’d asked her to bring her toys along (which he used on her rather expertly, and without the slightest jealousy or shame), and he even brought some things along too… a special oil to give her a massage and cold drinks for when she was all flushed. He blew softly on her back when it got too hot, lightly brushed her hair away from her face, ran his fingers lightly and teasingly up and down her back, touching all the places her massage guy Nick wasn‘t allowed to touch. He snuggled with her afterwards, every single time, falling asleep all wrapped up around her, his arms cradling her, his hands holding her bodacious tatas, his legs curled around hers, and his feet touching hers. Gigi loved this display of affection, so much so that she forgave him his snoring, which of course he had to argue about, calling it breathing, even though she taped ten minutes of him snoring. She even forgave him hogging the remote control. What is it with men and remote controls? Women use it to find one channel and stick to it. Men flip through channels nonstop, watching everything under the sun, and not sticking to one thing. Then they fall asleep to the show, but invariably wake up the minute you turn the television off.
He paid for everything on the trip, and planned where they went, since Gigi didn‘t know the area. Now most women on vacation get taken to local attractions. Gigi was taken to… a sex shop!! Oh yes, does Julian know his Gigi well. It was the first real sex shop Gigi had been to. It was not a tame Lover’s Lane, with more lingerie than toys. This store made you first show your ID, and then let you in behind a closed door. Gigi saw toys she’d never even dreamed of, from the normal common stuff, to the hard core stuff. It was quite an education, and Gigi knew that if she spent enough time around Julian, she’d get to indulge in many fantasies that had remained fantasies for way too long. Julian had once told her that he would help make all her fantasies come true.
He told her that if he ever won the lottery he’d open up a string of sex shops. Gigi’s very own porn star/sailor. How proud she was of him. She told him if she became rich and famous, she’d have him retire from the Navy, and become her cabana/toy boy. He told her to get on home and get writing and finding a publisher!! In fact, he was quite the literary author himself, suggested the title for the chapter on him, and even helped her with many of the lines. So let’s go Helen. Gigi now has an even greater incentive to become rich and famous. Gigi told Julian that she and Helen wanted to open up a dating site one day where the members are seriously screened. Julian told her they wanted a dating service so as to keep the best ones for themselves…Hmmmm, not a bad idea.
The days flew by all too quickly. That last day, Julian was very quiet. “Grumpy,” Gigi thought to herself, thinking that maybe he was ready for her to go home. They spent one last morning in bed, and then went to the movies, where he again passed the important hand holding test, being the first to reach out and hold her hand, which he didn’t let go of once during the movie. Before she knew it, they were driving back to base for the last time, and they were in a hurry because the movie had been longer than expected. Julian had to run to the cab so as not to be late. One last kiss, and Gigi was left alone and rather sad and empty feeling by her car. Julian hadn’t said much of anything all day, especially the last few hours.
Gigi began her drive home, rather ticked off that he hadn’t told her what a wonderful time he’d had, or even thanked her for undertaking such a long trip to see him. “Thank God I’m leaving,” she told herself, remembering all the arguments they’d had. Yet when he called her two hours later, and told her that he wished she’d stayed another night, Gigi almost broke down into tears.
“Another night? You wanted me to stay another night? Why the heck didn’t you say so this morning?”
Julian argued (of course) that she should have known he wanted her to stay when he told her he only had to work from 4pm to midnight. That his comment had meant he’d be free to see her again. Gigi told him that he’d been so quiet all day, that she’d thought he wanted to be alone and rid of her. Julian told her he’d been quiet because he hated the thought of her leaving him again. Gigi could have kicked him if he was nearby. She so would have stayed for an extra night, if he’d asked her. Julian said that it would be too selfish of him to ask her to turn around, and come back to him. Gigi would have done it if it wasn’t for the fact that the mileage on her car would then have gone over her limit. Julian told her he really cared for her, and that he thought he’d shown it with his actions. Gigi replied that women need to be told these things, that they rarely tried to guess what was in a man’s mind. Julian did say that anyone could say things that weren’t true (Oh boy does Gigi ever know that), and that it is by actions that a man proves himself. Gigi wondered if she’d ever understand men and stop being so thoroughly confused by them.
He even told her that first day together, that he hadn’t been with another woman since Gigi. “Why me?” she’d asked. He’d told her that she was everything he’d been looking for, with her openness at all they could do together in bed, at her loving nature, and at the way she wanted to please him. As Gigi drove on towards Michigan, he told her she’d have lots of men just waiting for her, and Gigi really almost turned around then just to kick his butt. Lots of men?!! No way… lots of men who came and ran away. Lots of men who didn’t put her pleasures first and foremost, unlike Julian who had spent the last few days making sure Gigi would be limping for days. “Don’t you dare argue with me about this one,” she told him explosively, as he began to laugh, proving once again that he argued mainly to get her going. “Men like you are not easily found, and it really sucks that we are so far away from each other,” sniffed Gigi, as more tears ran down her face. She was surprised to find out that Julian had thought she was the one who was happy to be leaving. Oh men. What will Gigi ever do with them? Or without them? And how soon could she drive back to see him?
Despite the fact that the beginning of the trip had had a lot of warning signs: not knowing if she was leaving until the last minute, trouble getting a hotel room, not being packed and ready to go, the first serious snowfall of the year, and slipping on the ice before she even left the house, it had all, in the long run, been “O” so worth it. By now we know only all too well that Gigi ignores the signs when she wants to. In fact, Gigi and Helen’s book on dating should be called “See what happens when you ignore the obvious signs?”