Adventures in Dating: Gigi – Part XX

And now for something completely different: Gigi’s friends, or boat guy

How sad that one of Gigi’s favorite nights ever turned out to be one spent not with a man of her own, but with one of her girl friend’s? And no, it was not one of THOSE kinds of nights… Get your mind out of the gutter! Gigi did not like sharing her toys, and did not believe in threesomes, no matter how many of her boy friends had asked her for one. What did these men think? That she could simply just ask Kelly, or Susan, or Mary to jump into bed with her and her current man, and they would simply say: “Sure! Just let me grab my lingerie and I’ll be right over?” Men and their unrealistic fantasies! We never ask them if they can get their cute friend to join us in bed, so why do they ask us if our girl friends will?

One Saturday night, Gigi was home alone, in bed with a good book (oh if only it had been in bed with a good man, a bad man, any kind of man!). Kelly called and convinced her to go out salsa dancing. Salsa dancing suddenly seemed a better idea than being in a big lonely bed, so she told Kelly to come and pick her up. Kelly said that if they met someone, they’d need their own cars, so they decided to follow each other to the club. The plan was to flirt a little, and maybe, just maybe meet someone? Little did they know what that night would bring them. It is ironic how many things had to happen to set everything perfectly into place, and how many times they almost made a choice that would have changed absolutely everything. At times like these Gigi truly believed in destiny.

Kelly and Gigi got to the club early, and drinks were half off, so it wasn’t even 10 pm and they already had two drinks each in front of them. Now Gigi hardly ever drank at the club. She preferred to save her money for shoes. But tonight she was feeling a little lonely and a little reckless, and she drank her way into a nice buzz. Kelly had a few more, and was a very happy girl by the end of the night. Now for the last few weeks, Kelly had been sort of seeing a man who suddenly chose playing in his baseball team over seeing her. Then as men typically do, they confuse the girl by seemingly changing their minds. Even though he’d said he only wanted to be friends, he had come out twice that week to see her, and then, just to make it all even that more confusing, proceeded to ignore her both nights.

So Kelly was in a dangerously flirty mood. Now Gigi is a born and natural flirt, but not all men go for Gigi’s looks. Kelly is a different story. First of all, she is blonde. Yes, funny that even though blondes have been the bane of Gigi’s existence, two of her best friends are blondes. Kelly has these amazing dimples that together with her blonde hair and smile and curvaceous body make men of all types swivel their heads around and ignore the skinny little chicks hanging onto them. One year, when Gigi and Kelly were both single, they suddenly seemed to go for the same exact man, always a latino which was the only kind of man Kelly would go for. And it always seemed as though these men preferred Kelly over Gigi. That might have been when Gigi turned to African American men. They seemed to prefer her over Kelly, and Kelly did not go for them, so Gigi had a fighting chance.

Now this night, Gigi had not been in such a flirty mood after all, or maybe it’s because she just didn’t see anyone who attracted her attention. She’d hoped to run into hunky 6- pack black thugster whom she’d met here not too long ago, but her luck was not in that night. She’d let Kelly and Susan convince her that thugster was just too dangerous looking, and she’d felt almost like Sir Galahad the Pure in Monty Python’s Holy Grail, when he wants to “fight” with the lonely vestal virgins, but is dragged away by Sir Lancelot so as to preserve his purity. So she’d turned down thugster that night and lost her chance. Of course the next time she saw him, her girlfriends told her she’d been nuts to listen to them, and to ignore them the next time they told Gigi to stay away from a hot guy. Geez and thanks a lot girls!! But by now it was too late and thugster had a girl friend.

Gigi had also been sneaking peeks at her Iphone all night (she was not supposed to be on it when she had a girls’ night out, so she had snuck into the bathroom to do so), and she was receiving several emails from a sailor she’d just met. Yes, Gigi had a man in her life these days after all, but he was a gazillion miles away with no guarantees that she’d ever see him again. So they just had an email, webcam kind of relationship. But back to Kelly since this is her night and her man and her story. One that Gigi just happened to be involved with from the very beginning.

At one of the points in which Gigi returned from sneaking a peek at an email from her sailor (a very nice one about sexy lingerie, and spankings, and other naughty things), Kelly told her that a really cute guy had pulled her through a throng of pretty young girls to talk to her. She had walked away once he told her that he traveled all the time in his job, telling him simply, “So why would I want to talk to you?” However, by the end of the night, Kelly had decided she liked him after all. The club closed at 2 AM and when Kelly and Gigi walked out, they saw him there talking to two young, skinny things. “Watch this,” she told Gigi. And Gigi just groaned. Things tended to happen whenever Kelly said that. In fact, she had told Gigi and Susan that the next time she said that, they were supposed to stop her from doing whatever it was she wanted to do. Gigi just didn’t have the energy to try and stop Kelly, and it’s a good thing she didn’t either, because what soon followed was the most fun night ever.

Within seconds, the young, skinny things had flounced off quite angrily, and cute guy was walking up to Gigi with Kelly, and they were holding hands! “What did you say to him?’ Gigi asked. Kelly and the cute guy were laughing, as Kelly told Gigi that she had gone up to him, put her hand on his arm and said, “So, are you ready to go honey?” They laughed hysterically, and watched the young girls march angrily to their car. At this point in time, cute guy, from now on to be known as “boat guy”, asked Kelly and Gigi if they’d like to go in his boat with him.

Now Gigi and Kelly always gave the men they met nicknames. It helped them to remember who they were. They had a bunch of very funny names for the men they met in the clubs, like No Car (because he told Kelly he’d love to meet up with her one day, but had no car… his two friends soon became No Bike and No Scooter, just to keep the transportation theme going). Their favorite nickname had been 31 year old. His name was José, and they just knew too many José’s. 31 year old was Gigi’s favorite blonde story, because one time, on a plane on the way to Miami, Kelly had turned to Gigi and asked her how old 31 year old was… yup, this is where blonde jokes come from.

So now here they were, standing outside the club with boat guy, and he was doing his very best to convince them to go home with him and go on his boat. His dazzling smile was just so darned enticing, and his friends assured Gigi and Kelly that he could be trusted. “Where is your boat?” they asked boat guy. And he told them that he lived in Brighton, at which point Gigi and Kelly burst out laughing. “Brighton! Our best friend lives there, and we refuse to go see HER because it is so far away.” “It’s not that far away,” he told them in his delightful Latino accent.

They talked to him for a while and found out that he was Mexican and that his father was Spanish. Of course at this point, he won over Gigi. “He’s Spanish!” she told Kelly, as though all Spanish men are to be trusted. Then they actually stood there for about fifteen minutes trying to figure out how Kelly and boat guy could get to Brighton from Detroit. Gigi had no intentions of going, since obviously boat guy only had eyes for Kelly, who was too tipsy to drive all that way. Gigi soon had a plan figured out. They would each drive in their cars to Gigi’s house where Kelly could then leave her car and go to Brighton with boat guy. Gigi only lived fifteen minutes away, so Kelly could manage that drive.

Somehow along the way, they lost Kelly’s car. She’d been behind Gigi and then suddenly wasn’t. Boat guy and Gigi hilariously tried exchanging phone numbers while driving next to each other on the highway. It took a few tries of Gigi showing numbers with her fingers, but how does one show the number six when both hands should be on the wheel? Gigi called Kelly who’d begun to sober up and was thinking twice about going all the way to Brighton with a total stranger. “I should ditch him,” she said. Gigi told her that it was too late to change her mind now, because boat guy was behind her and was following her home. “But what if I don’t like him, and I’m stuck in Brighton with no car?” asked Kelly. “Then you can call Susan to come and pick you up,” said Gigi. Kelly told her that Susan was off having an adventure of her own that night and was not in Brighton. So Gigi told Kelly that if it ended up being a terrible night, she would come and rescue her.

All too soon they were all in Gigi’s driveway and Kelly felt better because Gigi had boat guy’s phone number and license plate, and had warned him that if he was not good, she would kill him. And that was after Kelly would have killed him. Boat guy told them that he was a really nice guy and that Kelly would not regret going home with him. He told them he worked for a family business that sold rosaries and prayer bracelets, and proceeded to show them the bracelets and put three on each of their arms. He also told them that he had four adorable children… yes, FOUR! He showed them their photos then and there, at 2:30 in the morning in Gigi’s driveway. He said that Kelly would have a wonderful time on his boat and that Gigi could join them in the morning. “In the morning!” exclaimed Gigi. Now Gigi is not a morning person, and has been known to sleep in till way past noon. “There is no way I’ll ever get up in the morning to drive to fricking Brighton. I’ll just come with you now,” she suddenly heard herself say. She ran into her house to get some things, with Kelly telling her to get her a bathing suit too.

So somehow Gigi was now driving to fricking Brighton for a man she wouldn’t get to have for herself! She nearly fell asleep on the drive and wondered how the heck Susan could ever manage those drives home every time she went out. Boat guy was so sweet and called her on the way to make sure she was ok. Darn it! Why didn’t she have a boat guy? Well, technically she did, and he was a sailor and was on a boat, and was emailing her 3-6 times a day, and had been for the past three weeks, but darn it a sailor far away is not like a boat guy in hand, is it? After about 45 minutes they got to Brighton. And left it behind. He didn’t live in fricking Brighton. He lived in Howell which was even further away!

But they made it there safely, and soon were in boat guy’s house, which was a very nice house that belonged to his parents (who were in Florida), and there was a boat in the driveway, so he hadn’t been lying about that. Boat guy had stopped on the way to where he lived to point out the lake. Lake? It was a pond! You know the decorative ponds that are put on the edges of new development? Gigi couldn’t believe that she’d driven all this way to go boating on a pond! Now normally Gigi carries what she calls her one night stand bag in her car, that has a change of clothes and toiletries. But this bag was still in her suitcase from her trip the previous week, so she had no clothes to change into. Once inside, boat guy got them some clothes to change into, and soon Gigi and Kelly were wearing his sweatpants and shirts, looking like homeless waifs in clothes obviously not theirs.

He offered them a drink and Gigi and Kelly accepted some red wine. Which was so thoroughly old and disgusting that they immediately began to toss it down the drain surreptitiously. Or not so surreptitiously, since boat guy caught them, and laughingly soon had offered them vodka instead. Boat guy put on music and told Gigi to pick something she liked. Now Kelly is American, but must have Latina blood in her, since she loves Latino men and salsa music. But she only likes salsa music, and she looked on mystified as Gigi and boat guy began to sing sad, romantic Spanish boleros. That is when Gigi fell in like with boat guy, and cursed the gods for not finding her one like him.

He was ever so sweet and funny, and didn’t stop smiling or kissing Kelly. He told them that his house was their house, that they had to go to Cancun with him and stay at his brother’s place, and also to Miami to his friend’s place. Gigi and he soon had all these trips planned out. He turned out to be a Piscis like Gigi which explains a lot, such as how he fell so hard for Kelly in just one night. Gigi and Kelly kept looking at each other in glee and pure amazement, mouthing how nice he was, and what was wrong with him and that it must be a doozy of a flaw. Because no one was ever this nice in their experience.

The last time this had happened to Gigi and Kelly had been the year before in Miami. Now if Gigi always ran into men that loved her and left her, Kelly would meet men who were deported, or ended up having severe mental problems, such as depression or manic-depressive tendencies. In Miami that time, Gigi met a gorgeous black Cuban who lied his way into her heart and then left her, and Kelly fell for a sweetheart Peruvian, who had a teeny tiny (not that!) manic depressive problem.

Somehow it was suddenly 5 AM, and Gigi told boat guy that she needed to go to sleep. She was soon fast asleep on the comfiest bed ever, in the house of a total stranger, who’d just suddenly popped into their lives. Then before she knew it, it was 10:30 AM and some cheery stranger was waking her up, saying that it was time to go to the lake. Gigi groggily woke up, rubbed her eyes, and realized that she was in a strange bed, yes, again all alone. Whereas Kelly had had an amazing few hours with boat guy in her bed, in which she had not had to sleep alone. Darn those blondes and their luck.

Boat guy ran around the house getting everything ready, and after some breakfast they set off in his truck, pulling his speed boat behind him. Now they had to stop at a store to get some water, and this is where Gigi nearly lost it. Kelly came up to her, and said, “I have a very important question for you.” She had such a serious look on her face, and Gigi was almost afraid to ask what the question was. “What is it?’“ she asked Kelly. Kelly looked at Gigi (insert a drum roll here please) and asked her, “What is boat guy’s name?” Gigi looked at her in disbelief. They had followed boat guy around the club, stood outside it with him, gone home with him, had drunk and danced with him, and Kelly had certainly done some things with him that Gigi hadn’t, and Kelly didn’t know boat guy’s name? Gigi burst out laughing, and couldn’t stop for several minutes. “His name is… Ronaldo!” Now it was just slightly hilarious that she knew boat guy’s first and last name, had his phone number and address and license plate number, and Kelly only knew his nickname of boat guy. Gigi decided then and there that if Ronaldo and Kelly ever got married, she had the best speech ever!

They drove to a nearby lake (turns out the pond last night had just been a joke) and spent the next six hours on that small speed boat together, going around Lake Chimichanga (or some such name), and at times just anchored and drifted along. Ronaldo had some amazing special Mexican coconut oil that Gigi slathered all over herself. If she wasn’t going to get a man, then by George, she’d get the best tan ever. And boy if it didn’t work! Later Ronaldo sweetly poured some into a vitamin bottle for her to take home. Those hours sped by, as they sunbathed, slept and even swam in the lake. At one point a killer wave drenched them all and almost took away their towels and cooler. Not their bikini tops though, since Gigi had been sunbathing topless… oiled and topless and alone. Yup God is still laughing at Gigi.

They all got to know each other, (Gees, again, not THAT way! Go rent a porno already!) and made plans for lots more outings. Gigi could see the attraction between Ronaldo and Kelly, and it was like watching a very sweet movie. Wow, was he for real? Now at different points throughout the day, Gigi had texted Susan and Mary to update them on this crazy date. At no point in time did she ask Ronaldo to take her back home. She even blew off one booty call and two possible dates for that night, because she was having more fun seeing a wonderful man fall for Kelly than she would have had in pursuing her own dates that would definitely have gone nowhere. These things just didn’t happen so easily, and if it wasn’t happening to Gigi, then at least it was the next best thing. It was happening to one of her very best friends, who had been through a very horrible year, and deserved a lot of happiness.

They decided to go to Brighton for dinner, and as if meeting one girl friend wasn’t enough for poor boat guy, they decided he had to meet the other diva in the trio. Susan. An Italian blonde who was so funny, she normally had them all in stitches with her antics. Poor boat guy. Gigi informed him that Kelly did not come alone. She came with Gigi and Susan, as a set package. She might not have 4 kids, but she had two inseparable best friends. In fact, Kelly didn’t yet have kids, and she soon had informed Ronaldo that they would have to have at least one more child if she was accepting his four kids. When Ronaldo was still there, and had not gone running for the hills, it just made Gigi like him even more.

So off they went to a very nice little restaurant in Brighton, dressed in the most horrendously mismatched clothes ever… EVER! Gigi was wearing her white bikini with its matching top and pants, but so see-through that she tied a brightly colored sarong around it. She was also quite sunburned, which never happened to her Spanish olive skin. Boy, that Mexican oil was lethal… Kelly had on a red baseball cap, a maroon sweatshirt over a green palm tree bikini ensemble and brown high heels. They looked like survivors from a nasty hurricane that had left them with just a few outfits to choose from. Susan told them she could barely forgive them for driving to Brighton for “some guy” when they wouldn’t do it for her. Oh dear, they’d never live that one down. Yet dinner was a great success, and soon Susan had also accepted Ronaldo into their family.

Somehow it was now 9 PM, and they were still with Ronaldo. Susan soon left, and Kelly made noises about having to go home and do paperwork. Kelly is a nurse (yes, blonde, dimples, curvaceous and she comes with her own nurse outfit. Life is so unfair to Gigi). “We really should go home,” she said. “NO!” said both Ronaldo and Gigi at the same time. Gigi did not want to leave the most successful first meeting/first date she’d ever been a part of. “Let’s go home and watch a movie,” said Ronaldo. And so they did. He found them more of his clothes to wear, since theirs had been soaked by the killer wave. And they snuggled together on the comfiest chair and watched a chick flick. At this point Gigi considered converting to the Mormon religion or whichever one allows a man to have two wives. As she was leaving she asked Ronaldo, “Do you have a brother who is just like you, and maybe even just a little bit black?” Sadly no. He said he was one of a kind.

They didn’t leave till 11 PM, and as they drove away and Kelly told her all the sweet things Ronaldo had said to her. Gigi told Kelly that he had told her that he thought Kelly was amazing and that he was afraid he was falling in love with her. As they drove away, her heart filled. With happiness for Kelly and with sadness for herself. “Quick,” she told Kelly. “Text him and tell him you miss him already.” “I’m not doing that,” said Kelly, horrified. Kelly did not do things like that, unlike Gigi who acted from emotion first and foremost. And I swear that not five minutes later, Ronaldo called Kelly (oh yes, they finally exchanged all the important information that Gigi had had for hours already), and told her that he already missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again. He even texted that as soon as he hung up the phone. And now Gigi did cry, hot, sad tears that fell down her cheeks as Kelly fell asleep on the long drive home. She cried all the way home, wishing that her sailor was so sweet and romantic. He was attentive, but it was more of a sexual attention, and not a romantic kind. It was nothing like this.

A week later, Ronaldo had seen Kelly twice, talked to her and texted her every day, and had asked her to be his girl friend. Finally one of Gigi’s chapters had a happy ending, even if it was not for her. He even sweetly called Gigi a few times, telling her how much he cared about Kelly, and they made plans for another weekend spent on the lake. Three months later, Kelly and Ronaldo were still together, happy and still falling in love; whereas Gigi was still alone, with only booty possibilities. Gigi had broken up with her sailor when he was very unsupportive over the illness of Gigi’s mami. He actually apologized and wanted Gigi back, but considering that he was in Florida and not making any attempt to come and see Gigi in Michigan, she’d realized that there was absolutely no future for them. While she was in bed, sad and trying her hardest to hold back her tears, Kelly and Ronaldo called her to tell her not to be sad, that she had them, that they’d spend the next weekend together again, and be together. Gigi was really and truly happy for her, but wondering why she didn’t have what they had found so effortlessly, without even trying. While all she did was try, find and lose.

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