RUN!! Run for the hills if he or she becomes a stalker from the get-go. It can only get worse. Keep an eye out for the warning signs and red flags. The beginning should be happy, fun, exhilarating. You should be able to enjoy the first months together as you get to know each other. You shouldn’t be walking on eggshells, watching what you say in case you offend him or her, or make them jealous.
From Gigi: Gigi doesn’t get many stalkers, not until a few weeks ago. He called, texted, and yahooed her constantly one morning, after she told him she was no longer interested in him. he tried one more time a week later and then gave up thank God. I think if you begin seeing someone, and they are constantly contacting you or lurking on your facebook or dating blog (if you have one), then you need to end it immediately and move on. You should be allowed space to be with your friends and write whatever you want. Especially if you have just met and have not yet become exclusive.
From Helen: Calmly smile at the person you are with as you bend down to tie your shoes, remove any loose items that may fall off or are not wind resistant…and RUUUUUUNNNNNN!”
From Le’Ro: Depends really. If you like them and they are not a nut case. Make them feel comfortable and see what the root cause of the behavior is coming from.
Now, if they are a straight up nuts, Smith and Wesson )
From Heidi: Run away. Like the wind!!!!
From Pamela: Heather is right .. run as fast as you can! Not worth it at all.
From Rachel: Nah. Running just makes them chase you. Better to face them and say, “When it comes to dating, we’re just not on the same page. I hope you find what you’re looking for” and calmly walk away. The straight-forward approach is thoroughly confusing, and they tend to leave you alone after that!
From Danielle: Call the police and get a PPO!!!
From Rachel: Drop em like they’re hot!!!
From Tim: Give them more sex if they make me really horny. If they are just ok, then I will discard them.
From Dionne: Get rid of them….QUICK……
From Lizzie: Haven’t dated any-mine were too busy sneaking & cheating to care where I was & who I was with. Oddly,the one that got grouchy/mildly possessive was the one who was both knowingly pursuing another individual and was terminally long distance. He hated when I went out.I just ignored his online pouting since it was his fault we weren’t exclusive and together.
From Susan: Pop a cap in their ass…lol being italian and all….that’s what I would do!!!
From Boris: I think it’s easier for men. For women, do lots of searches (creating histories a jealous one will check) or mock up a prescription (or prescription bottle) for Valtrex, and find a way for it to be “accidentally discovered.” Or talk to a girlfriend on the phone about it, sounding concerned and hopeful (how’s it spelled? That’s the best one? how much is it?)–he’ll look it up eventually. Or print this up and carry it in your purse, likewise to be found or ran across: http://www.facebook.com/l/c6041;www.youryeastinfection.com/yeast-infection-treatment/prescription-yeast-infection-medication.htm. You take what they most want off the table, they’ll move on…”
From Helen: BTW, Boris…you are hilarious. however, what happens if they say, “Oh, thank God! I was going to tell you about MY prescriptions, but I was scared that you would run away.” (As they pull a bottle of Valtrex out of their bag…)”
From Shari: What is your definition of stalking? If someone is just showing and inkling of jealousy etc., have a discussion about parameters. If they decide to ignor them, then cut things off. If they persist, then that’s where stalking comes in. I’ve never had to deal with a true blue stalker, but I have had to draw the line, which they didn’t like and left me alone.
From Ricardo: If someone is already involved with a possessive jealous stalker then it’s too late hehe.
From Hannah: Move and leave no forwarding address.
If you find out that he or she is overly jealous or possessive, put a stop to it right away, because it will only get worse. If they cannot stop their behavior, then just walk away.
From Ariana: Ignore them.
Hopefully the stalkers won’t develop into the truly scary ones. Most stalkers will stop after a while if you don’t answer the phone or return emails. If they know where you live, and won’t stop coming over, you might have to threaten them with police action, but hopefully that won’t ever be an issue.