Helen: Week of March 8th

A few weeks ago, I posted on my status that I had the best first date ever. Yes, I agree, it was. His name was Steven (do I even bother giving a pen name to this one?) and yes, we did have a second date. However, it all kind of dissolved into thin air like evaporation, with me sitting and picking apart every little detail of our time together and wondering what went wrong.

However, I must digress, so you can all help me understand what went on. For starters, Steven was excited to have a second date. Hell, he wanted to make it (and I quote) “Even better than the first!”. So, I was excited to see what we were going to do next. However, that evening, my ex-husband called and canceled his date due to the weather. (I do believe at least one snowflake hit the ground). As a result, I had my son for the weekend. For those of you who are unaware, I happily have full custody of my favorite little man in the world. However, this leaves me with little time to devote to dating. So, when the cancelation happened, I texted Steven to tell him that I was either unable to go out, or he would have to come over to my place to watch a movie after my little man was asleep.

Being the sweet gentleman that he was, he not only was okay with it, he also agreed, since we are both catholic and can’t eat meat on Fridays during lent, to bring over a fish fry.

I was floored that not only was he okay with all of it, he was even willing to bring me dinner and movies. Once Gideon had fallen asleep, he came over and we warmed up dinner and watched a movie. The date seemed to go fine, despite me feeling a bit uptight the entire time. (Maybe it was the movie choice…he brought over a business movie about a life in sales from the 90’s, since he was about to get back into the industry…the movie was totally not the choice I would have picked) Additionally, I was nervous that he thought since he had been invited to my house, that I was inviting him for more than just a dinner and a movie. (Ahem, you know what I mean.)

So, for some reason, although it probably didn’t appear that way, I just couldn’t let me guard down. When the movie ended, he claimed that he had to leave because he had to fly to Connecticut the following day for business. That night, he said goodbye with several passionate kisses, saying that he was ridiculously attracted to me and wanted to see me more often and gave me the invitation to call as much as I want to (I hate the phone anyway) and on and on the webs he spun. When he walked out the door that night, I was kind of feeling giddy. I felt like, “Wow, someone really likes me for who I am! He wants to see more of me, is attracted to me, etc. etc.”

After I washed up for bed, I texted him to thank him again for a wonderful evening. Although I didn’t get a response back, I went to bed feeling happy and excited.

Flash forward one week: No word, texts, calls, emails nor carrier pigeons from Steven. I wonder if he got caught in the turbine engine of the plane while boarding?

Flash forward one week and a day, and this is the text I finally received:Hey! Sorry that I didn’t respond sooner. I have been busy with work and emotionally exhausted.

I responded (as Gigi and I were yet again having old fashioned film movie night and watching Sabrina:”Gosh, I sure am glad to hear that you are okay. I was thinking that you were either incapacitated or not interested anymore”. (Yeah, I know, I just throw it right out there)

To which he responded: “What?! No way, I have just been so busy lately.”

To which I responded: Nothing….and Gigi and I clicked our tongues in disgust…knowing that he just wasn’t that into me. Gigi insisted to me that all hope was not lost. That perhaps, he had been busy and that I should still give him another chance. However, as I told Gigi, unless the man was holed up in a cave in Kuwait without phone signal, he could have at least sent a text explaining that. Hell, didn’t Osama Bin Laden even text from his fu^&ing cave? Oh, he has no excuse! He could have at least texted me to tell me that he was busy and to give him time! I would have totally given him space! Overall, though, wouldn’t it have been nice for him to grow a pair enough to man up and say, “Helen, I am just not interested?” Now, I am not saying that I haven’t taken the “coward’s way out” before. However, a lesson is just much more meaningful when you have to learn it the hard way…

My theory is this, for some reason, Steven got scared. Whether it be that I have a child and put him first, or that he thought about being “tied down” with an insta-family and ran for the hills. Or, perhaps, he just plain wasn’t interested in me. Whatever! Just flipping tell me! Ugh….As for Helen and dating, who knows. Gigi talked me into joining plentyoffish (which I hilariously was reading as, “Plenty offish”, but to which she corrected me as, “No, sweetie. It’s Plenty of fish” Hahahaha…whatever. Let’s see what comes next for Helen’s status. 🙂

Lastly, I leave you asking….anyone else have a different theory on why this guy went silent? Perhaps Helen and Gigi are reaching out to all of you for answers rather than giving advice.  Perhaps a little of both…in hopes that we can all share our stories and make sense of this crazy world of dating these days…

1 Comment on Helen: Week of March 8th

  1. Helen Obispo

    Steven update: Although it has been over a week without a word from him…he decided to text this yesterday, “Hey, there! How have you been?? Just thinking about you and wanted to say hi!”
    OMG…If I were a sucker, I would still be talking to him. Gigi’s advice is that he just wants to keep me open for a possibility. Sorry, buddy. Helen is too good to be treated that way!

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