If trying to decide what to wear, where to meet for that first date, and what to talk about wasn’t bad enough, the worst part is not before or during… but AFTER the first date. When to call her/him? Who should call? Him or her? Should you answer right away when they call or should you let them leave a message and then call them back? AGHHHHH No wonder Gigi is so thoroughly confused!!
I know that there is probably no set answer on when that call should take place, or who should make the call. But I was curious to see what everyone thought about this. We might actually learn a lot of new stuff with this blog, just like we did on who should pay for the first date.
I was brought up to be a polite young lady, so I have always sent a thank you text after that first meal, whether or not I like them and want another date. If I really like the guy, I might add a “Hope to see you again.” Is this wrong guys? Does it put you off? Obviously if you don’t like her, it might put you off. But what if you liked her? Would you want to know that she wants another date? Would the fact that she texted/called you first upset you, or make you not want to answer or see her again? God, dating is soooooo confusing!!
From Gigi: I won’t call the guy after the first date, but I will text him a thank you after the meal is over. Then I leave it up to him to text or call back asking for another date. If I haven’t heard from him in a day or two, and I really liked him, I might send another text.
From Le’Ro: I would love it if she contacted me first after the date. That way I can get a feel for if she liked me and wants another date. Also I do not want to bother her with my attentions if they are unwanted. I would never be put off if she contacted me first.
From Dionne: Either should call after he leaves, and then the next day, he should call again to set up another date.
From Lizzie: The guys should call the girls, since I think they are sensitive about that. Girls like receiving the call “Oooh he called me!”, and the man can be like “Oh damn, she called!!”
From Helen: I think he should call, but I do usually send a thank you text to them for the nice date (if it went well). I know, I know, I am old-fashioned. I always throw it out there that I am an old-fashioned girl, and they will have to call.
From Elsie: I’m old-fashioned, but HE should call. If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t want him (advice from the expert, right?).
Helen, too funny: calling yourself old-fashioned for sending a thank you TEXT! Laughin’ (True, I guess in the old days, we would have sent a thank you note!!).
From Oscar: If I like the person, I don’t have a set time. I may call the next day or the day after. I don’t think anything if she calls me, except that I’m pretty sure she’s interested.
From Brandon: I am old school, the man of course. I was too jumpy to wait too long. Sometimes it was a few days later, no later than a week. If the first date went well, I would usually ask for a second date that night before the smooch good night.
From Gunther: If I like her, I ask for another date right away. I don’t want to waste time.
From Tawny: Either should call and if it feels right, not because there is a rule of time or gender.
From Tim: Usually if I didn’t get good vibes about the date, I will wait. If my date won me over, usually I will offer to meet again. Put the ball in her court. If she is receptive, she will accept. Always be honest. If you don’t hear from her in 24 hours, wait another 24 hours before you call her. Then call her to tell her that you enjoyed her company, and display your interest.
From Rachel: If you like him, call the next day. Not too early, like mid afternoon. Girls love it when guys call first. It shows true interest.
From Ariana: The man. He should call within 24 hours, if he wants a second date, that is.
From Scott: I wait about a day. You don’t want to call too soon or sound too eager, but you also don’t want to wait too long. I wouldn’t mind if the girl calls me first. Be a human being, communicate and don’t be a doofus!!!
From Kelly: Man. He should call by the next day.
From Camille: Either one can call a couple of days later, but it’s ok to text the next day that you had a good time.
From Steve: He should call… always!!
From Shari: I personally don’t think it should matter who calls first, but for some reason, I think guys feel pressured if the girl makes the first call after the date. Then again there are those guys who like it if they get the call from the girl first. It takes away some of the guess work of “Did she have a good time?” and “Does she like me?”
What about if she asked him out? Should that make a difference?
So with the clear differences in ideas about who calls first… how is someone supposed to know whom they are dealing with? Is that really a topic for discussion on first date? Because I can see how that second date might not happen if both parties are waiting for the other to call. (And Shari, that is why dating sucks and is sooo hard!! I think it is a good idea to discuss this as a first date topic… I’m adding that to the blog on what to talk about!).
Well, it’s a good thing you are bringing all this stuff up. I can see how a lot of people wudda shudda cudda been happily together if it wasn’t for this lil mixup on who calls who! (Thanks Shari, hopefully we can all learn from these answers!!).
From Boris: He should pay. She should call. (If he asked her out). It’s a ping pong match, and he did his part already. The ball’s in her court. If she doesn’t call, it’s a pretty clear signal there won’t be a second date. Very effective communication. Conversely if she initiated the date, then he should call. It wouldn’t make sense for him to: a) ask her out b) pick up the tab, and then c) call and ask for a second date. C’mon women, you have to do something! Unless you put out on the first date, then I guess you already did your part. then it would be ok for him to call The prince was hot and rich. There’s no reason he should have to chase a coy Cinderella for her damn shoe!!
There’s expectations and there’s reality. I think she should call. But if I were to get tired of waiting, and think she might be doing the same, then I’d call. I wouldn’t pass up on a second date just because she doesn’t agree that she should call. I would just give her the opportunity.
From Matt: I say if you like him, call him. Doesn’t matter who, man or woman – especially if you had a connection.
From Peter: It’s got nothing to do with pride. Call him, but don’t let him grow up because you called first.
From Susan: I thik whever wants to call should call… no games!!!
From Brie: the guy should call after a first date. However, if the girl isn’t interested, she shouldn’t wait for him to call to make contact. She should send a quick polite email, saying that she just didn’t feel it… no chemistry… whatever. No need to go into details, like “he had bad breath” or “he looked like he’d raided Barry Manilow’s wardrobe.”
From Kendall: She should wait for the guy to call. If neither are interested, and email ending is appropriate from either party.
From Sam: A girl should wait for the guy to call, or else she’ll come off as too eager and that is a turn-off for most guys. If he doesn’t call for a couple of days, she can call then to see if there is any interest.
So here you have it girls. Anyone confused yet? It seems as though some men don’t want us to call them becuase it makes us look desperate. And yet some men do want us to call them after the first date. It lets them know we like them, and want another date. Isn’t it better to swlalow your pride and put away your old-fashioned notions, if it can get you another date with someone you liked? What if you never called and then he never called you, thinking you didn’t like him?
And men, if we don’t call you, try calling us. Maybe we are too shy or old-fashioned. If you like us, make our day by calling us. There is nothing so exciting as your phone ringing the day after a date, and you see it’s HIM!! Many women have sat by their phone, sadly wondering why it never rang
Aghhhhh…no wonder dating is sooooo confusing!!