Dating Advice #5: What to do when he/she is jealous and possessive

Jealousy and possessiveness can ruin a perfectly good relationship. This is sad, especially when the jealousy is completely unfounded.

From Gigi: This happened to Gigi in her marriage. Her ex-husband Tim was incredibly jealous. When they were first dating, he hated it when she kissed men on the cheek… and this is a Spanish tradition of greeting someoen, and they were living in Spain!!
He made her throw away all her old love letters that he found in one of her boxes when they first moved in together.
It was all good when she was overweight, but when she lost weight, he complained about what she wore outside of the house and at any of the men who looked at her. Instead of being proud that she went from 200 pounds to 120 pounds, he seemed upset that she looked better, and that men were looking at her. They would go salsa dancing, and he wouldn’t let her dance with anyone. what? Did he think someone would be copping a feel while twirling her around the dance floor?
When Gigi went to Spain to visit her mother and attend a high school reunion, he told her that she needed to be home every night by 10 PM, even though their best friend there has a bar. Gigi told him what her Dad told her when she was a teenager: you can misbehave just as much at 2 PM as you can at 2 AM.

From Bella: Bella has an insanely jealous boyfriend, so much so that she has to tell all her friends, both male and female to be careful what they write on her facebook, because he will read it and get mad at HER for what her friends write!! He accuses her of flirting on facebook… The ironic think is that he is the one who cheated on her… He doesn’t want her going out at night with her girl friends, and all in all, can be a big pain in the butt. Bella puts up with it because she cares very deeply about him. If he only realized this, he would know he has no need to be jealous!!

From Brenda: She had a boyfriend who was so jealous, he would check her phone records (on the online phone bill) to see whom she was calling late at night, or who she was calling. He even called the numbers at times to find out who they were!!

From Kelly: I’ve had some boy friends who are jealous when I go to the salsa club with them, and they see me dance with other men, or if they talk to me too much.

From Jonathan: My ex-wife would get jealous every time I went to work because I worked with many good looking women. she would not let me go to any of their Halloween or Christmas parties, and if I went I had to lie to her, and not stay very long.

From Rachel: She thinks that you should dump jealous partners. No one should own or control anyone. Relationships should be about complimenting their life, never controlling it.

From Tim: If my partner is jealous, I have the perfect formula! It works every time! Before you leave the houe, make sure you give her good sex (and a little or a lot of oral). Let her know how much you love her and how you want her to dress up for you (insert sexual fantasies here) for when you get back. This will reassure her that you are not off having sex with someone else. Which is usually their main concern.

Hmmmm… sex is not the answer to everything. Although it does keep a relationship healthy, and might relieve some partner’s minds. It didn’t work like that for Gigi’s ex. Sometimes I think there is no solution to getting ajealous partner to calm down, and sometimes this can end the relationship. Therapy could help!! If not do as Rachel says and dump the partner. Maybe when they lose you, they will realize their mistake? then again, Bella has left hers many a time, and he promises to be better, but always reverts back to his jealous disposition…

6 Comments on Dating Advice #5: What to do when he/she is jealous and possessive

  1. Will

    Nothing good comes from dating insecure people.

  2. Helen Obispo

    I agree with Will and Kelly! I run the other way when someone is jealous, etc. Especially in the beginning…it will only get worse. There are too many fish in the sea! 🙂


    I’ve been pursuing your blog for 3 days straightaway and i should say i am getting to like your situation. and now i think If he’s interested, he’ll have eye touch. If he grinning that’s a green light for you say “hi”. If he’s calculating at his shoes when he passes you or if he all of a sudden starts expecting at his see or what he’s throwing in his hands then he’s not the one for you. When he or she grins at you, he states hi and you really dont speak to him, he gazes at you. If he experiences you he vibrates you alot, he encounters his hand against yours, sometimes a boy can be mean and pick on you alot. The most sudden reaction might be the best to project out real matters about that individual. Spontaneousity isn’t betraying. Try to scare that someone, or just take him by surprisal and see what encounters.

    • Bunda

      – Aloha Meridith-This is Mike and Sarah’s aunt from Hawaii i guess technically that makes me a gnardma of sorts to Cam but we won’t even go there!! You captured him and his personality perfectly. The nursery photo looks like it belongs in Cookie or Dwell!

  4. Dirk

    Mark – great pics he’s such a fatty. would you be able to take the same pics of cameron with me in the same poses, cltoehs, and room? haha jk. great stuff

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