Talking. It might seem overly simplified, but talking is so important to a successful relationship. If people talked more to each other, then relationships might last longer, and they’d have a better chance or surviving all the things that life throws at you. Talking can save a dying marriage. Lack of communication can be the death of it.
When your partner doesn’t talk to you, you can feel ignored, taken for granted, and unappreciated. If you don’t let your partner know you feel this way, it can fester inside of you, and the resentment just builds and builds. This can be extremely hazardous, especially if you suddenly meet someone new. Because what happens in a new relationship? Everything is wonderful, magical, and brand new, and you are suddenly being paid a lot of attention, which makes that person seem better than the one you have. So off you go into the horizon with this new perfect person, without trying to give a chance to the one you are leaving behind, who might be completely dumbfounded that he or she has suddenly lost a very important person.
Sometimes if they wisen up soon enough, they can appeal to the person they are about to lose, and they give their relationship another try. Sometimes it is a case of too little, too late, and they are not given a chance for reconciliation. Gigi never gave her ex-husband another chance. Too many years and too much hurt had gone by. Gigi’s friend Susan decided to give her husband another chance, when he woke up one day, suddenly realizing that he had ignored her needs for 14 years. He saw that he was about to lose her to another man, and he admitted that it was his fault for all those years of not giving her what she needed. Now it’s as if he has turned over a new leaf. Gigi wishes them both the best of luck for the future.
Not that I want to generalize, but women seem to be better at talking than men. They talk and vent to their girl friends, and in so doing, can rid themselves of pent up frustrations. When women have problems with each other, they can talk about them, fix the problem and move on. Gigi and Kelly can attest to this (as can poor Susan who is always the mediator). Men have a tendency to hold their feelings in, and their women at times have no idea what they are feeling, and tend to feel ignored or taken for granted. Of course, women tend to have more disagreements with each other than men do with their male friends. Why is that?
Advice from Gigi and friends:
Gigi (in and out of relationships for 30 chapters worth): I’d tell everyone in a happy relatinhsip to talk to your significant other every day, about the good and the bad. I know that in the past I tended to hold in things that bothered me, which is not fair to the other person. If I am ever in a relationship, I will make sure to talk it all out.
From Tyrone: Talking is incredibly important. You need to let her know when you are feeling sad or scared. Otherwise, how can she help make you feel better? (At that Gigi had to call him, and tell him not to be sad or scared. They’ve been talking on the phone and online for a while now, and he’s afraid that when they meet in person, Gigi won’t like him. How sweet… now there are no guarantees on what will happen, but at least Gigi has met a man who believes in the importance of talking).
Camille (married 24 years): We talk to each other every day, even the little “how was your day” conversation. We speak up when something is bothering us, even if it’s something very little, so it doesn’t turn into something really big or accumulates until one of us has a meltdown.
Sara (in a relationship for 1 year): Good communication is critical to every relationship… without it, you are bound to fail. When asked how long they’ve been together, her boyfriend Billy said “274 days, 19 hours, and 27 minutes of love” (he types too slow to calculate the seconds). They are in a long distance relationship, and make every minute count.
Zelda: I tell my boyfriend everything; in my humble opinion it’s very important. (A very wise 17 year old girl). Most of my friends are too scared to be honest with their other halves. Which confuses, annoys and upsets me because it just gets them down, y’know?
Shari: Good communication is crucially important. I think that one of the problems why many relationships fail is because communication breaks down. It’s too bad that when it does, more people don’t do whatever it takes to get it back on track. Society makes it way too easy to just move on to someone else, instead of working to improve what you have (Amen sista!!).
From Shari’s friend Tami: Yup. Gotta talk. How else would he know what i want for my birthday?
From Apollo: Communication is the ground floor to personal behavior. If you don’t have it, you have nothing. (His first comment though was: no talk, no tail… hmmmm Apollo!!).
From Ricardo (no relationships in a VERY long time): The less talk, the better (Ricardo!! Shame on you… now we know why Ricardo is single).
From Andrew (married for 20 years): The number one most important thing in a lasting relationship is trust. Good communication is one of the key elements of building trust.
From Ana: Talking is number one in my book. If there is no communication, how can you have a relationship?
From Jenny: Talking is important… but not 24/7.
From Kelly: Talking to your partner is the number one most important thing.
From Susan (married for 14 years): My marriage was recently saved when my husband and I finally began to talk to each other about things that had been bothering me for way too long.
From Scott (married 17 years): Talking is very important. My wife and I don’t do it enough. Kind of messed up, huh?
From Jed: Talking is important in its own right, as is its counterpart: Listening. Talking combined with the other senses can make for potent communication. (That’s it. It’s official. All the good men live too far away from Gigi).
From Arianna: If there’s no talking, there’s no communicating, and it’s the beginning of the end. Talking is the most important thing ever.